International Women’s Day 2018! Rashmi Daga, CEO, Freshmenu.com: Not a woman’s world yet, but we’re heading there

The most common question asked to me in an interview is: How do you balance your life at work and at home? I do not. I do not feel the  need to balance these two roles I play in life. My career is often what defines me and yes, my family is equally important. In a race to quickly stereotype successful businesswomen in India, the media and business community feel the need to identify me within pre-created and approved boxes.

I am a woman before anything else. I am then an entrepreneur. I am also a mother, a wife and so many other things. I am so much more beyond these boxes people choose to define me by. Yes, I chose to have a family and I choose to run a business simultaneously, but I would prefer to be judged solely by my business calibre. I do not want to be a model to families that force their daughters or daughters-in-law to balance this work and life equation.

Each woman should be allowed to make her own decisions. Some might choose only career; while others might choose only family; yet others might choose to balance both work and career – and all three options are fine! If a woman does choose to have a career along with her family life, there are three things that become non-negotiable:

1. Discipline

It’s important for women to maintain a disciplined schedule and stick to it like an unbreakable vow. That’s literally the ONLY way this balance can be maintained. Discipline regarding time, duties and tasks to be carried out and roles that need to be played in each life must be sorted out and consistently maintained. To draw clear lines and have open communication with people in the family and at work is the secret to maintaining this. Do not overpromise and do not stretch yourself too thin – the moment either role starts stressing you out, you know you need to restructure.

2. Confidence

It’s not easy. Nobody ever said it would be. And while support in any form can always help you keep it going, the real motivation comes from within. Staying confident about what you have chosen to do will help you fight the million opinions that will come your way. Deflect opinions that remind you of how you can lose in this supposed ‘battle’. Instead surround yourself with people who appreciate how driven you are and continue to push you further. Stay confident, for often it is the only strength you will be able to draw from.

3. Persistence

The most important, however, is persistence. Learn to be persistent with yourself. Push yourself to the limits. You know how much you can handle. You needn’t get everything right at the first attempt. It’s OK to fail and to learn from your own mistakes. Learn to be persistent with other people at work or at home. They may not understand you or your problems or your needs. Give them time to get comfortable with the new you… but be persistent there too. Do not be lenient, be persistent instead. Persistence will get you where you want to be.

The challenges faced by a woman entrepreneur are not very different from those faced by any entrepreneur, the only difference being the occasional individual you meet who dismisses your capabilities solely based on your gender. Personally, starting my business in Bengaluru has helped me skip a lot of this kind of sexist attitude, but I cannot deny its existence. How do I choose to deal with it? I ignore it.

Patriarchy has gripped our culture for far too long for it to disappear in a few years. That should not, however, stop us from achieving what we want. Yes, I speak from a point of privilege and I agree that I have probably had it easier than many other women. I do not deny their individual struggles when I make this battle sound so simple. But the battle exists and in each of our own unique ways, we must learn to deal with it.

Ignorance of sexist attitudes combined with discipline, confidence and patience has worked for me so far. It isn’t yet a woman’s world, but we’re surely heading there. Till you find your own way to deal with the world around you, feel free to borrow my mantra. Best of luck and Happy Women’s Day!

(Rashmi Daga is the Founder and CEO of Freshmenu.com)