International Women's Day 2018: Social evils and stigma cannot crush her courage

AHMEDABAD: She was forced to marry at the age of 17. She had to marry twice in marriage barter and when she was diagnosed HIV-positive, her husband left her to the mercy of the society. She did not even separate legally from her husband fearing that her brother’s life will be ruined according to barter wedding practice. But she has finally emerged triumphant against all social evils and stigmas and now she has been counselling HIV-positive persons to earn her and her son’s livelihood.
Asha (name changed),35, is an HIV-positive woman who counsels HIV-positive patients in a village of Banaskantha district to earn the livelihood for herself and her 10-year-old son, and also to forget the plight of the social evils and stigmas.

In 2000, Asha, then 17, was forced to marry a man and according to wedding barter system, her brother was married to her husband's sister. But five years later, her husband eloped with some other girl leaving behind Asha with five months pregnancy. Her community and family members had then decided that her brother will also have to leave his wife. It was even decided that she will have to abort. During the abortion, her condition became critical and then HIV infected blood was transfused to her, said Asha.

“In 2007, my community had compelled us into the second barter wedding. Later on, I was diagnosed as HIV-positive when I delivered my first child in 2008. After coming to know this, my husband left me and my newborn kid,” Asha said.

She added, “I had lived in front of my husband’s house for two years. But when our community members learnt about it, they held a gathering to decide my fate. I had to hold a feast and arrange their stay by paying a hefty amount, but finally they gave the diktat that I should leave separately from my husband,” Asha says.

Asha further said, “Had I taken a legal divorce, then my brother would also have to separate from his wife. So I decided to live separately and started working for HIV-positive persons since 2010.”

“When I was diagnosed as HIV-positive, I used to think my life has been reduced. But when I started working for HIV positive persons, I felt the urge to live again and defeat the social stigma,” said Asha.