At the end of the interview, Tinky Bharadwaj emphasises the joy and fulfilment one receives when one is able to make a difference in at least one individual’s life. When we wonder, ‘Just one person; That’s all?” she smiles, “That is all.” Tinky, a volunteer at Roshni, a support helpline for the depressed and suicidal, has maintained this attitude for two decades now. The helpline recently completed 20 fulfilling years with scores of its volunteers helping more people to open up.
To be a volunteer
Roshni was set up at a time when such a helpline was never heard of in Hyderabad. “The focus is to give emotional support to those who are distressed, in pain, crisis and have no one to talk with,” shares Tinky, who was looking for ways to give back to society. After a stringent selection and training, the volunteers adapt to their role of just listening. “We do not advice our callers; One of the things we are often asked is what do we do when people bring their problems to us. We only listen and keep it confidential and do not make it a topic of discussion; Those are the basic things required to be a volunteer.”
Subhadra, a volunteer for 14 years now recalls how as a new volunteer she was apprehensive about the power of listening. “I never thought listening would help so much. We always think of solving somebody’s problem. Over the years, it is a discovery to find out that listening gives power to the individuals to solve their own problems.” Tinky quips, “We don’t take away the dignity or feeling that they cannot solve their own problems.”
The helpline started with 16 volunteers and now it boasts of 60 volunteers and besides Hyderabad the service is present in 17 centres across major cities in India. It is interesting to note that the maximum number of calls continue to revolve around relationships issues. The elderly, professionals and students too often reach out. With no time limit, a caller can choose to speak for three or 30 minutes or two hours depending on their comfort level to discuss. The volunteers note most of the first-time callers start with a general topic before they discuss their issues. “They gauge how comfortable they are talking to us or want to know what the service is. They also claim they have never been depressed in their lives. Those who are schizophrenic or have bipolar disorder share they are on medication and just want to talk.”
Changing social fabric
The volunteers reel out an earlier survey that said 42.5 % of corporate employees are depressed. “One can’t deny the huge amount of stress caused by the changing social fabric. After television, computer games and internet, the mobile phone has now taken over our lives,”observes Tinky adding, “Many children are getting exposed to things that are not needed at that age.” Renu shares the centre has more visitors than earlier. “When we joined, we were new to the idea of befriending. It is an ongoing journey and we have to treat every caller as a new one.”
While the helpline is a free service, Roshini Counselling Centre, started at Begumpet is a paid one where different remedial services are available under one roof.
The listening endeavour helped them shatter myths. “Initially, we felt good that we are going to make life easy for another individual. As the journey continued, we realised that we have been helped more with the service,” points out Tinky and explains, “The things one learn here are empathy and compassion, without judging them.” Agrees Krishna Kumar and states how this work has changed him. “I developed patience, the art of looking inwards instead of blaming others.”
Different callers
The team is trained to handle different callers including those who want to commit suicide. Recalling an incident, Tinky shares, “One girl, who didn’t like the course of study was planning to take pills. I asked her if she has bought the pills and when does she plan to take it. She said, ‘As soon as this call ends.’ Time stood still thinking what is going to happen next. I then began asking her about her dreams. When she shared her dreams, she rejuvenated and wanted to live. We have to try and find one reason to live.”
Roshni also reaches out to school and college students, professionals, elderly, the LGBT community by their outreach and public programmes. “We look forward to reduce the incidents of suicide and create awareness. Make a phone call, send that mail or get in touch with us. We believe that listening helps.”