How do I tell my boyfriend to forget about ever marrying me? He's very sweet and we have been together for two years now, but I knew very early on that he was not someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with
Illustration/Uday Mohite
How do I tell my boyfriend to forget about ever marrying me? He's very sweet and we have been together for two years now, but I knew very early on that he was not someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He has some great qualities, and I am genuinely very fond of him as a person, but he is someone I want a relationship with at this point, not for the rest of my life. The thing that worries me is he believes I'm the one he wants to marry. He is very sure about this. He has been pretty secretive for a while and I am worried that he is planning some sort of surprise that will end with him asking me to marry him. When that happens, and I refuse, it's going to break his heart. I don't know what to do.
If he does propose, and you turn him down like you intend to, I'm not sure why you can't spare him the humiliation and heartache by simply telling him how you feel today, instead of waiting for something like that to happen before reacting. If the two of you have a different idea of what this relationship means, it can only end badly. You say you have a great time with him, but are very clear about not spending your life with him. If he doesn't know how you feel, aren't you doing him, as well as yourself, a disservice by withholding that information?
I want to surprise my boyfriend with something special but can't think of what to do. I don't want to buy him a gift because that's easy, and I can't find an interesting idea online. Do you have any suggestions?
Your boyfriend's idea of what is special may be radically different from mine. I don't know him; you do. If you can't figure out what he likes, I'm not sure how a complete stranger can help.
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