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It is with great trepidation that I am proudly stating that I did not watch even a nanosecond of the Super Bowl on Sunday.
I recognize that I am one of the few people in this country, and one of the even fewer in Massachusetts, who can make that claim. Despite this confession, believe it or not I am an American citizen with a valid United States passport — but I must admit that I did not vote for The Donald. Rather, I wrote in Bernie Sanders. I know that vote was not even counted in this state, but it counted for me.
I spent my evening thinking about writing this letter, and once it was completed thinking about whether or not I should submit it. I did this while watching the Cooking Channel. (Actually, I watched “60 Minutes,” but I thought my point would be more emphatic if I said the Cooking Channel.)
I neither went to the game nor did I go to one of the parties I was invited to in order to watch it on TV. In fact I didn’t even consider either option for a moment.
I didn’t go to the game for several reasons. To score a ticket, I would have had to empty my retirement account to sit in the last row of the stadium. I was not interested in seeing the halftime show while being doused with beer and nachos either.
Finally, I had no intention of going to Minneapolis in February. I might consider going there during the second week of July if they had a heat wave.
If the Brooklyn Dodgers were playing in the game, I might have re-evaluated my decision but alas, as we used to say at Ebbets Field, “Wait til next year,” with 1955 being the exception.
I also didn’t watch the Super Bowl on TV as I’m not really fond of watching commercials. The game lasted about four hours. Each quarter is only 15 minutes long, and the ball is actually only in play for about 11 minutes.
During that brief span, the number of brain injuries occurring on the field is mind boggling. I prefer not to watch that carnage.
Oh yeah, I also don’t like chicken wings.
Jonathan Kahane
Westhampton
