Last Fall, a TV producer was suspended after 19 colleagues reported his inappropriate behavior to the press. The news did not surprise me since I’d worked with him years earlier and witnessed his inappropriateness and threats firsthand. I complained about him to supervisors back then, but nothing was done. When I heard of his overdue fall, my first instinct was to play “Na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye” and dance around my room. But halfway through the song, I stopped. I felt more queasy than happy. Instead I felt:
ANGER.
Justice had arrived, but it came too late. How many others were traumatized by this man’s violent threats and sexualized comments? Damage done cannot be undone.
FEAR.
Even when powerful men stumble, they inspire fear. What if my former colleague somehow knew I was celebrating his downfall? He’d be furious and retaliate. It was irrational, but proof of how a bully’s threat lingers.
UNCERTAINTY.
Mel Gibson costarred in Daddy’s Home 2, which grossed $168 million last December. Gibson has repeatedly shown himself to be bigoted and misogynistic, but still he works. The others will bounce back, too. I’ve started the countdown to Louis C.K.’s “Mind If I Jerk Off on You?” tour.
EXHAUSTION.
Every day, we open the newspaper to another story that reminds us that sexual harassment and assault are woven into our culture. Fast-food workers, scientists, senators, and gymnasts all suffer. To be happy about the fall of one powerful man is to know there are another 10 that need to follow. To paraphrase the poet John Donne: Each woman’s harassment diminishes me/For I am involved in mankind/Therefore, send not to know/For whom the bell tolls/It tolls for thee.
Nell Scovell is the author of Just The Funny Parts and the second-ever woman to write for The Late Show with David Letterman.
