Perhaps looking for a new lawn ornament? A real conversation starter? Planning ahead for Christmas?
Oh boy, do I have the deal for you ...
Someone has listed a gently used orbital launch vehicle for sale on Craigslist for $9.9 million, "or best offer." Good news, the "seller" accepts cryptocurrency, so you finally have an excuse to use those Bitcoin profits.
And this sucker is a beaut. It's fully loaded! "Take off and land anywhere!" Who needs Happy Honda Days or Toyotathon when you can start your morning commute with 9X Merlin engines! And you all thought self-driving cars were the futures ... SMH.
"Gently used orbital rocket in good condition. Fully loaded with onboard flight computer, launch and landing hardware. Take off and land anywhere! 9X Merlin engines each capable of producing 200k lb.ft of thrust. Just fuel it up and it's ready to go," the seller wrote on the Craigslist ad.
For transparency's sake, the ad mentions some flaws.
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket lifts off from newly refurbished Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station.
CRAIG BAILEY / FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket lifts off from newly refurbished Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station.
CRAIG BAILEY / FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket lifts off from newly refurbished Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station.
CRAIG BAILEY / FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket lifts off from newly refurbished Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station.
CRAIG BAILEY / FLORIDA TODAY
The first stage of a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket comes in for landing at Landing Zone 1 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017.
CRAIG BAILEY / FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017 on a mission to the International Space Station and returned for a successful landing shortly after liftoff.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017 on a mission to the International Space Station and returned for a successful landing shortly after liftoff.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
People on the beach in Cape Canaveral watch as a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launches and lands nearby on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017 on a mission to the International Space Station and returned for a successful landing shortly after liftoff.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017 on a mission to the International Space Station and returned for a successful landing shortly after liftoff.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017 on a mission to the International Space Station and returned for a successful landing shortly after liftoff.
MALCOLM DENEMARK/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station
CRAIG BAILEY/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
A SpaceX rocket lifts off from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station
CRAIG BAILEY/FLORIDA TODAY
The first stage of a SpaceX rocket separates from the second after liftoff from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
The first stage of a SpaceX rocket separates from the second after liftoff from Pad 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
The first stage of a SpaceX rocket comes in for landing at Landing Zone 1 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. The rocket is carrying supplies to the International Space Station Mandatory Credit: Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY via USA TODAY NETWORK
Craig Bailey/FLORIDA TODAY
It does say "Falcon 9" on the body, but the "slight burnt paint can be buffed out."
Keep in mind, these puppies cost $60 million to make and another $200,000 to fuel.
Unfortunately, there is no shipping available for this item. Prepare to pick it up in Florida's Port Canaveral. Oh, and the seller reminds us, "must bring own tug boat."
"Do not lowball, this is an orbital capable autonomous rocket. You will not find another one like it," the post states.
Serious buyers only.
The USA TODAY Network has attempted to reach the seller, but hasn't heard back yet.
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