This may surprise those readers who tend to skip our comments section because they’re no longer in junior high school, but many Trump supporters get angry and call me bad words when I criticize our Man-Child in Chief.
They say I’m “biased” and “stupid” and, to drive home their point, tend to ridicule my haircut. They say I should retire, even though I’m not even 60 years old and my 401(K) took a huuuge hit last week. They say I should be fired because they disagree with my opinion column, perhaps unaware that they don’t actually have to read it.
Well, today will be different. Maybe I’m feeling magnanimous because I got a whopping $66 increase in my bimonthly paycheck and can now purchase a vacation home. (Thanks, Donald!) Maybe I’m happy because tonight is the Super Bowl, and after the game we’ll finally learn exactly how Jack perished in the fire on “This is Us” (I’m betting it’s the fault of the stupid dog).
Maybe, because I’m a girl, I want everyone to like me.
For whatever reason, today I come to the defense of Donald Trump. Just for today, consider me a Trump apologist or a right-wing evangelical Christian, as the terms are interchangeable.
So here goes.
First, I wouldn’t blame Trump one bit for having an affair with porn star Stormy Daniels. After all, his wife, Melania, had just given birth to their child and was likely carrying some unattractive post-baby weight. GAAAACK. Trump married a model, after all, and never signed up for that. And didn’t Trump himself tell Howard Stern that she’d have one week to lose the weight? He was honest about his feelings, which is what we love about him, and Melania clearly disobeyed her husband.
Trump deserves to have lots of sex because he’s a powerful man who rightly noted on the “Access Hollywood” tape that he can do whatever he wants with women. Besides, the (alleged) affair happened years before he became president and morphed into such a moral, upstanding leader. And it’s great fun watching a porn star linked to the president making the rounds of the talk shows, slyly hinting that she was indeed paid $130,000 to keep quiet about the affair.
My favorite segment was when Jimmy Kimmel asked her last week if she has a nondisclosure agreement.
"Do I?" Stormy asked coyly.
"You can't say whether you have a nondisclosure agreement, but, if you didn't have a nondisclosure agreement, you most certainly could say 'I don't have a nondisclosure agreement,' yes?"
"You're so smart, Jimmy," Stormy replied.
Ha! She’s a real hoot, and God knows we need to laugh.
On a more serious note, good for Trump for releasing the “explosive” memo we’re heartily sick of reading about. Trump is just trying to be forthcoming, even though his transparency is blatantly self-serving and the FBI threw a major hissy fit about national security. If Devin Nunes wrote this memo, it must be true, and it’s certainly about time we learn that the Russia investigation is a hoax, just like Trump insists. If he wants to fire Bob Mueller, it’s his right. Besides, Mueller is just carrying a grudge because of golf fees and I’ve never once seen him smile.
Despite any lack of proof or evidence, a deep state obviously exists in this country to bring down the president. Everyone is against him, including the FBI, the Department of Justice, the Democratic leadership, the liberal media and every member of the White House housekeeping staff that continues to collect his shirts from the bedroom floor, despite his objections. I just hope they respect his orders to keep away from the presidential toothbrush.
The poor guy just can’t win. Last week he was criticized because he claimed that his State of the Union address was watched by 45.6 million people, which he called “the highest number in history.” So what if it happened not to be true, and that Nielsen notes that Presidents Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush all drew bigger ratings for their speeches? Who cares? Truth is highly overrated. We live in a world of alternative facts, and it’s downright refreshing that we’re no longer tethered to reality, which tends to be boring.
One thing you can say about Trump - he’s never boring. Politics used to be a dull affair, and now we’re treated to a daily string of entertaining events that hasn’t been seen since Jerry Springer.
“I think it's a disgrace what's happening in our country,” Trump told reporters Friday in the Oval Office.
Certainly, we can all agree with that!
In conclusion, allow me to add that I’m grateful to those readers who continue to point out, in an effort to argue the veracity of their views, that my hair is styled by raccoons.