Last week, I received an email from a reader with a very challenging question. ''Concerned Grandmother'' wrote:

“How do you encourage a son-in-law, who has the habit of inappropriately teasing his 2½-year-old son, not to do this? Though he didn't have the right kind of role models as parents, I think he is trying his best. However, I am really concerned that my grandson will begin to dislike his father because of the way he teases him. It is not the 'fun' kind of teasing, more like a vindictive type.”

This question is difficult to answer for any number of reasons, including the nature, frequency and intensity of the teasing. However, there are some general guidelines parents (or grandparents) can follow to help address such an issue.

But first, a brief caveat. Though sad to acknowledge, adults who tease or bully their children often tease or bully others, including their spouse. Although this is not universally true, it is an important factor to consider prior to intervening. If the parent who is teasing the child also teases/bullies the spouse, it might be best to seek the assistance of a mental health professional. In this situation, the probability of a productive exchange and positive outcome without professional assistance is small. So get some assistance.

On the other hand, if the teasing parent does not treat others poorly, and seems to be targeting the child, the approach may be somewhat more straight forward. That is, most parents interact with their children in a manner that can be — in large part — predicted by their own childhood experiences. For example, if a child is spoiled, overindulged, and given a sense of entitlement, he is likely to have a similar world view as an adult. This could manifest with teasing, mocking, or otherwise diminishing the feelings and emotions of others. After all, they grew up in a world where their own desires were the most important.

If this is the case, it may be helpful to have a conversation with the parent. Share your observations and feelings with the child’s parent. Help them understand how it feels to be treated in such a negative way. Explain that if it hurts your feelings, it’s possible that it is hurting the child’s feelings as well. This may be difficult for them to understand, as they may have never had to empathize in this way before. But if you work with them, they could develop an appreciation.

Similarly, children who grow up in a home where they were teased and bullied by a parent may carry on the teasing when they become a parent. Although many children grow up to correct the errors of their own parents, some perpetuate the problems, passing them to the next generation.

In this case, the approach will be a little different. Instead of teaching them what it feels like to be treated this way, they must be reminded of how they felt when they were teased or bullied. In a calm, supportive conversation, they should be asked to recall what they felt when their parent made similar comments when they were a child. Once they have that feeling in their mind, ask them to think about how their own child feels when treated in this way. Sure they may say, “Well I was treated like that, and I turned out OK.” Although that may be true, it does not mean that all children will turn out OK, and that is a very risky game to play with your child’s future.

Dealing with teasing and bullying is difficult, no matter who the person is. But when the teaser/bully is a parent, there is an added layer of complexity. Nonetheless, in most cases, a calm, supportive conversation may be all that is needed to help bring about change.

Dr. Berney, a licensed psychologist with Psychological Associates of Central Florida in Lakeland, is a national speaker and the co-author of "Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child." Listen to Dr. Berney's podcast, "The Mental Breakdown,” on iTunes and YouTube. You can submit questions or topics to Dr. Berney by email at drberney@pacflorida.com.