Former Viking to host LGBT-friendly Super Bowl party

Sixteen years after former Viking defensive tackle Esera Tuaolo came out as gay, the fear he once had that he’d be an NFL outcast has long since faded.

Instead, Tuaolo, 49, who played in the league for nine seasons, including five with the Vikings, is preparing to host the first NFL-endorsed “Inclusion Party,” sponsored by Adidas, days before the Super Bowl. It’s aimed at fostering a relationship between the league and the LGBT community.

Tuaolo is among several former players who came out during their retirement, but there are currently no NFL football players who have made their sexuality public. Fear of being ostracized by the NFL and his peers stopped Tuaolo from coming out during his career.

The party, he says, will mark a huge step forward for the league.

“You know that feeling of breaking down a barrier? That’s how I feel right now with the NFL,” Tuaolo said during a recent interview at the Pourhouse in downtown Minneapolis, where he will host the event on Wednesday. “I’m praying that by doing this party, that athletes who are in the closet understand and feel more comfortable that the NFL now has jumped on board and supports something like this.”

It hasn’t always been so, including for the Vikings.

In 2014, former Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and the team reached a settlement involving allegations about the team’s homophobic culture. Kluwe, who was released from the team in 2013, claimed that special teams coordinator Mike Priefer made anti-gay remarks during the 2012 season. As part of the settlement, the team suspended Priefer for three games and donated at least $100,000 to LGBTQ groups.

‘My life was miserable’

Peter O’Reilly, the NFL’s senior vice president of events, said the league knew having Tuaolo host Wednesday’s event would be “a unique opportunity.”

“We are selective in the events that the NFL contributes to around [the] Super Bowl, but this was an opportunity we knew would be meaningful for the LGBT community and for an NFL legend,” O’Reilly said.

In 2002, three years after he retired from the Carolina Panthers, his fifth team, Tuaolo revealed in an interview with HBO’s “Real Sports” that he is gay. At the time, he was the third former NFL player to come out publicly. In the interview, he expressed frustration about having had to keep his sexual orientation a secret, and how that led to depression and thoughts of suicide.

“My life was miserable,” he said at the time in the interview with HBO. The 6 feet 3, 300-pound former nose guard was afraid players would “go for my knees, try to hurt me because I’m gay.”

But during the HBO episode, fans met the real Tuaolo, he said. They met the family man who with his then-partner, Mitchell, was raising twins, Michele and Mitchell.

The segment also featured an interview with Sterling Sharpe, a former Packers teammate of Tuaolo, which encapsulated the very real fears Tuaolo faced during his career. Sharpe said Tuaolo “would have been hated” if he came out while still playing with the NFL.

‘We’re so proud of him’

Since the era when Tuaolo played, the NFL has worked to change the stereotype that it fosters a culture of homophobia and exclusion.

In 2011, the league added sexual orientation to its anti-discrimination and harassment policy guidelines, according to the LGBTQ sports site Outsports. The NFL announced in 2014 that it would have zero tolerance for players’ on-field use of insulting language relating to sexual orientation, with violations resulting in 15-yard penalties and potential disciplinary action by the league. And last year, the league launched an internal employee resource group called NFL Pride to support LGBTQ employees.

“Now, when a player or a coach or an owner lashes out and says something negative about the LGBT community, they are held accountable, which is awesome,” Tuaolo said.

Tracy Perlman, senior vice president of football communications and marketing for the NFL, began her career with the league several years before Tuaolo came out. Perlman, who works with NFL Legends, said she considers the league a “very tolerant environment.”

When Tuaolo approached her about having the NFL sponsor an Inclusion Party, Perlman was eager to start the process. “We’re so proud of him, and want other guys to support him,” she said.

Now, the native Hawaiian says he’s never been more at ease.

“Who I am now is the full person,” he said. “Who I was back then ... I was half a person.”

Last fall, he auditioned for NBC’s “The Voice” and made it to the playoffs. He splits his time between California and Minneapolis. His twins are now in high school and his son plays football. In 2006, he wrote a book, “Alone in the Trenches: My Life As a Gay Man in the NFL,” and testified in favor of same-sex marriage at the Minnesota Legislature.

With the party and the big game just a few days away, Tuaolo was reminded of the first time he attended the Super Bowl.

It was 1999, and he was playing for Atlanta. Tuaolo had brought Mitchell to cheer him on in the crowd, but introduced him to others as his manager.

He didn’t feel part of the experience, but now he’s free.