Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend says she had a friend and loved him, but he didn't have any interest in her. People say other things though, and it seems as if there is something she is not telling me. I wonder if they were physically intimate, because I found a photograph of that guy kissing her on the cheek that she had framed and kept. I'm in a confused state of mind. Can you help me out?
— Tamil S
What exactly are you upset about? Let's say she was with someone, and they did more than just kiss each other on the cheek. Do you want her to tell you about this knowing how you will react to that declaration? Have you ever thought about whether or not her past matters more than her presence in your life at the moment? Do you believe she is withholding information because she does this on purpose, or because she is wary of how you will react? Why don't you simply tell her why you feel as if she is hiding something, and whether or not her past makes any difference to you? What you say will determine what she chooses to talk about, and what she prefers to keep to herself. Also, do keep in mind the fact that we all have a right to our personal secrets.
Is there anything I can do to change the way my boyfriend behaves in public? He has really poor manners. He chews with his mouth open, for instance, which really freaks my friends out. I have tried to get him to change, but he takes any suggestions as a personal affront.
Manners are taught over time and patience helps enormously. Lead by example and gently ask him to change the way he does things. If he refuses to change simply because he has a problem with criticism, stop going out in public with him until he realises how people close to you are affected by his behaviour.
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