DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and was best friends with "Sam" for two years until we started dating 10 months ago. It has been so much fun. He is the first person I have truly loved.
When we first started dating we weren't exclusive, and he hooked up with my best friend. We all go to school together and see each other every day. Since then, I'm uncomfortable being around her.
I have expressed my feelings to Sam, but there's nothing we can do. I often feel hot and cold about our relationship and get close to breaking up with him. I have considered therapy, but my family can't afford it. What can I do so I don't hurt myself and him?
— HURTING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HURTING: You didn't mention what you and this young man plan to do in the fall, but if it involves continuing your education, your paths may diverge at that time. In the meantime, you and Sam should be free to see others because, if your emotional needs were being met, you wouldn't be blowing hot and cold about the relationship.
DEAR ABBY: I haven't been in a relationship since 1995. Is it true when they say, "Use it or lose it," and does it hold true for women also?
— WANTS TO KNOW IN INDIANA
DEAR WANTS TO KNOW: I think the answer to your question may depend upon what "it" is.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.