Longtime friends Steve Martin and Martin Short talk about why they love insulting each other and how those insults made it into their show Jan. 18 at Suncoast Credit Union Arena in south Fort Myers. Video and interview by Charles Runnells/news-press.com
Steve Martin and Martin Short are FUNNY. But you probably knew that already, right?
If you didn’t before, you certainly know it now if you attended Thursday’s comedy show at Suncoast Credit Union Arena in south Fort Myers.
The Two Amigos, dressed in nearly identical black suits, showed us exactly why they’re comedy legends who have progressed well beyond their fame-making starts on SCTV and Saturday Night Live. They had us rolling in the aisles with their Hollywood stories, Short’s goofy antics and celebrity impersonations, Martin’s funny song lyrics and dry wit, and the longtime friends’ obvious joy in making each other laugh.
Highlights included Short wearing a kilt and impersonating a set of bagpipes — complete with a big Scottish dude blowing on his thumb while Short caterwauled the bagpipe sounds of “Amazing Grace”; Martin getting Short to sing a song allegedly about their friendship — but really about how great and awesome Steve Martin is; and the duo doing a ventriloquist act with Short as a dummy version of his TV character Jiminy Glick.
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Plus Martin plays a mean banjo, and his Grammy-winning band the Steep Canyon Rangers were downright awe-inspiring (especially virtuoso violinist Nicky Sanders and his jaw-dropping, extended solo that managed to work in Led Zeppelin, “Lowrider” and more).
Really, though, it’s the razor-sharp wit that stuck with me long after Short’s fake 70s religious musical “Stepbrother to Jesus” with its “full-frontal nudity” (Short wearing a body suit with drawn-on genitalia) and Martin’s story about his awkward encounter backstage with Elvis Presley (“Son,” Elvis told him before showing off his gun collection, “you’ve got an OBLIQUE sense of humor”).
These comedians know how to hurl loving insults at each other and drop barbed zingers like absolute pros. They aren’t just silly guys famous for putting fake arrows through their heads or portraying a rude TV show host in a fat suit. They’re craftsmen who put deep thought into every single word and every pregnant pause. This stuff is golden.
For proof, check out this compilation of the night’s best insults and one-liners:
— Steve Martin: “I’m so happy to be in Fort Myers, because Naples is a little too FAST-PACED for me.”
— Martin Short after hearing the audience’s applause: “I can’t tell you how humble your response means to a HUGE star like me.”
— Martin Short on their 2018 comedy tour: “Steve and I call this show, ‘If We’d Saved, We Wouldn’t Be Here.'”
— Steve Martin on touring with Martin Short: “You know what I like about touring with Marty? No paparazzi!”
— Martin Short on Steve Martin’s pale, pale skin: “Steve once got a sunburn from his Kindle Reader. … (He looks) like Anderson Cooper freezing to death on New Year’s Eve.”
— Martin Short to one of three men they brought onstage to do the “Three Amigos” salute, complete with sombreros and pelvic thrusts: “You’ve heard this before: Your thrust was late.”
— Martin Short ad-libbing after a lightbulb burst onstage and spilled hot glass everywhere: “Hot Glass. That’s the first porno I ever saw.”
— Steve Martin to Martin Short: “I think you’re underrated as a singer — which I completely understand.”
— Steve Martin on dieting: “I’ve been on Jenny Craig more times than MISTER Craig.”
— Martin Short on being Canadian: “We’re the ones you DON’T deport.”
— Steve Martin on the Steep Canyon Rangers: “This band is like a family to me, in that we often eat dinner in total silence.”
— Martin Short on Steve Martin’s teeth: “Your smile’s like an email from Grandma — all CAPS.”
— Steve Martin on Martin Short lingering too long: “Marty, if you don’t get off the stage fast enough, I’m gonna call United Airlines.”
— Steve Martin on Martin Short’s lack of accolades: “Let’s count off the awards you’ve won: One, two, three, four, five, six — NONE.”
— Steve Martin on touring with Martin Short: “We tour together. We’re like Donny and Marie without the sexual tension.”
— Martin Short on what he does during a Steve Martin bluegrass concert: “I like to close my eyes and pretend I’m on hold with Cracker Barrel.”
And the wit just kept coming Thursday night.
The duo had us laughing constantly, and they were cracking themselves up, too. They’ve been friends for 30 years, ever since meeting during the filming of “Three Amigos.” And their love for each other is obvious, despite the insults.
And they love their audiences, too. At the end of Thursday’s show, they even took the time to toast the arena crowd with a glass of Champagne and some appreciative words. Then they got us laughing again with one last song that included some crowd-pleasing dance moves from their SNL and SCTV days — just enough Ed Grimley and King Tut to get everyone giggling with joy.
I don’t have any Champagne at the moment, but that’s OK. I'd still like to salute Steve Martin and Martin Short, too, for being the comedy legends they are.
Thanks for the laughs, guys. And keep 'em coming.
Connect with this reporter: Charles Runnells (Facebook), @charlesrunnells (Twitter), @crunnells1 (Instagram)