Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: thearts@nytimes.com.
Bee Is Not ‘Sorry’
The public conversation around sexual misconduct has grown more nuanced recently, particularly in the wake of an article alleging that the actor and comedian Aziz Ansari — who wore a “Time’s Up” pin at this month’s Golden Globe Awards — behaved coercively during a sexual encounter last year.
Samantha Bee dove into the discussion on Wednesday, saying that even if he did nothing that qualifies as sexual assault or rape, it was still important to acknowledge that the actions he is accused of are not acceptable. “We know the difference between a rapist, a workplace harasser and an Aziz Ansari,” she said. “That doesn’t mean we have to be happy about any of them.”
Ms. Bee said Mr. Ansari — the author of a book called “Modern Romance: An Investigation” — should have been able to recognize when his advances were making his date feel uncomfortable.
“If you don’t want to tune into your partner’s feelings throughout sex,” she said, maybe Mr. Ansari shouldn’t be engaging in sexual activity with a woman at all. “May I suggest a coin purse? Or a Ziploc bag full of grape jelly?”
Continue reading the main storyStormy Brewing
In Touch magazine published excerpts on Wednesday from a 2011 interview with Stephanie Clifford, the former adult-film star known as Stormy Daniels, in which she describes having had an affair with President Trump in 2006. The magazine is planning to run a complete transcript of the interview, but just the teaser content provided plenty of fodder for Stephen Colbert.
“When she arrived, he was wearing sweatpants, and they ended up eating in his hotel room. Sweatpants, eating in the bedroom: Even back then he was preparing for the presidency.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Ms. Clifford’s account of her first tryst with Mr. Trump
“She stormied on: ‘But I do remember while we were having sex, I was like, please, don’t try to pay me.’ Oh Stormy, you don’t know Trump at all. Not paying people is how he screws them.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
In Good Health?
On Tuesday, news outlets reported that Mr. Trump had passed his physical examination with flying colors. By Wednesday, many were throwing doubt on those results. One sticking point: According to the exam, Mr. Trump is now one inch taller than previously reported.
“You know how people in their 70s tend to get taller. The bones just plump up! I mean, by the time my granny died, she could dunk!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“A lot of people were very skeptical when they heard that Trump only weighs 239 pounds. But it actually checks out when you remember that for the weigh-in, Trump took off his clothes and his hair.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Cheeseburger Edition)
“According to The Hollywood Reporter, the salacious new book on the inner workings of the Trump White House is set to become a TV series. They’re calling it ‘The Worst Wing.’ ” — SETH MEYERS, referring to "Fire and Fury”
“It has come out that President Trump enjoys eating cheeseburgers in bed. He likes to eat cheeseburgers in bed — which explains why Melania likes to go to bed disguised as a salad.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Ms. Bee spoke to some members of the much-discussed “working class” who don’t feel particularly represented by the Trump administration.
The Roots broke out their classroom instruments, and Camila Cabello sang her hit song “Havana.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Sharon Stone has been out of the spotlight for many years. That may soon change: She is starring in “Mosaic,” a new mini-series on HBO that asks viewers to interact with the story by choosing the order in which they watch it. She speaks to Mr. Colbert on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
Is this the golden age of drag? Yes, perhaps — but it’s complicated.
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