Sideswipe: January 18: Really?...

Hmm, maybe not

In 1712, Dutch theologian Balthasar Bekker published a monograph with the succinct and catchy title, "Onania, or the Heinous Sin of Self-Pollution, And All Its Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes, Considered: With Spiritual and Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This Abominable Practice."

In it, he claimed that masturbation leads to "disturbances of the stomach and digestion, loss of appetite or ravenous hunger, vomiting, nausea, weakening of the organs of breathing, coughing, hoarseness, paralysis, weakening of the organ of generation to the point of impotence, lack of libido, back pain, disorders of the eye and ear, total diminution of bodily powers, paleness, thinness, pimples on the face, decline of intellectual powers, loss of memory, attacks of rage, madness, idiocy, epilepsy, fever and finally suicide." It's a list of ills that might well make a person consider themselves lucky to only lose their eyesight. (Via Mel Magazine)

Anything not nailed down ...

Diana woke yesterday morning to find her knee scooter, which was given to her by ACC, had vanished from her front doorstep. "It has been a lifesaver for me after my foot operation, so I was hoping that the person who has ridden away on it might ride it back to Freemans Bay address from where they 'borrowed' it."

She'll be right...

A witness writes: "This genius is standing on a bucket, leaning out over a balcony about 30 floors up, to paint part of the outside of the apartment building that's nearly finished in Albert St. He's not tethered to anything."

Waste not, want not

"These stationery stories bring to mind my attendance at a country school during World War II when all stationery was supplied via the headmaster," writes Bob Jenkins of Tauranga. "Pencils were used and when frequent sharpening reduced them to an unmanageable length we were issued with a new wooden meat skewer with a metal ferrule attached in which the short pencil was inserted to give it an extended life, right down to the bone as it were."

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz