After watching a few of the “Star Wars” movies, I have come to an interesting conclusion.
“Star Wars” is a novela. Una novela y nada más.
It started out as a boy-falls-for-the-princess fairy tale, which is pretty much the exact opposite of the muchacha-pobre-falls-for-the-galan-con-feria storyline made popular by novelas for as long as I can remember. But, having discovered that following the formula is pure gold, the people who brought us Luke, Leia, el Chuy y Arturito agarraron carrito and took it all the way.
There’s the storyline about the chatita who falls in love with el muchacho that the main girl is in love with and, although he doesn’t notice her at first, he eventually sees her incredible heart and gives her a big besote cuando ya las anda dando. There’s a storyline about someone finding out that el malo de la novela is really his dad — and the storyline that says, “¡No eres nada! ¡Eres una cualquiera!” to the pretty girl.
And then there’s the scene of the guy que sale sin camisa for no good reason, except to show that he’s been hitting the gym.
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Pero hablando de camisetas, there is the issue of the uniforms. Star Wars has suits with masks and capes; novelas have suits with tight skirts and impossibly high heels. The ladies always have a piece of fake hair on their heads; sometimes it’s trenzas that look like cinnamon rolls on the side of the head, and sometimes it’s a long chongo that appears to be a different color than the fleco. Sometimes a character will wear black to let the world know he’s a bad guy, and it doesn’t really matter if his outfit is a black plastic mask or un gorro ranchero negro.
“Star Wars” has monos from other planets with unique facial features; novelas have characters with unique facial features tambien, only those features seem to come from surgical enhancement instead of being from the galaxy next door. “Star Wars” has monos who speak in foreign languages que ni se les entiende — but, from time to time, there will be a character en la novela who is supposed to be speaking with a foreign accent to let the viewer know that he isn’t a local, but good luck trying to figure out where he is supposed to be from.
This is because neither novelas or “Star Wars” are meant to be taken seriously. They’re just supposed to be fun.
But try to convince a fan that it isn’t such a big deal, and you’ll quickly find out that, despite the one-liners and silly plot twists, the parallel universe really does exist.
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