Say a quick prayer today for the poor souls in Oregon who are now being forced to pump their own gas.
Then say it with us: Never in New Jersey.
After Oregon just dropped its law requiring all gas stations to have attendants, forcing shivering drivers to fend for themselves, we are now the only state in the nation that still provides this courtesy.
In a country of motorists standing miserably out in the cold and the rain, New Jersey is the last bastion of civility.
Oregon descends into madness, forces citizens to pump their own gas
"Just because we're the only state, doesn't mean we're the wrong state," said Senate President Stephen Sweeney, D-Gloucester. Exactly.
One of the things that makes New Jersey such an attractive state to live in and do business is our quality of life. Here in the Garden State, we don't have to get out of our cars in a freezing tempest, or get smelly gas on our hands. And as we sit snugly in our cars in arctic conditions, we have the comfort of knowing that we are providing jobs.
To the folks who call that elitist: Polls have consistently shown that most New Jerseyans like it this way. Are we all elitists?
This is the will of the people, and legislators ignore that at their peril. Besides, with the very real problems plaguing this state, ask yourself: Why should this even make the list?
What's wrong with having cheap gas, and not even having to get out of your car to get it?
Check this out, Jersey drivers: Oregonians pump their own gas, and the internet laughs
Some killjoys - mostly out-of-state transplants - will argue that this isn't an either or. If we just drop the state law that mandates full-service gas, they say, you can get your gas pumped, and I can pump my own. Do not fall for this.
If you see other people getting out into the cold to save a few pennies, you may feel obliged to do the same. Making it a law delivers us from all guilt.
And the reality is, as soon as we eliminate full service at most of the pumps, cars will back up at the one or two pumps that still offer it. Then the majority of people in this state, who do not want to pump their own gas, will be forced to.
Eventually, gas station owners will see that when required to wait, New Jerseyans do pump their own gas, and they will eliminate full service entirely because self-serve is cheaper. And a longstanding, beloved and truly special piece of New Jersey culture will be lost forever.
Why? Because of the tyranny of the minority. Why should the rest of us be made to feel guilty about a small creature comfort, to the point where we can no longer even enjoy it, or be forced to give it up to get anywhere on time? Sad!
Those misanthropes who want to force us all to pump our own gas can get their tanks filled in another state. If you delight in pumping your own gas, then hit the road to the New York or Pennsylvania border -- don't impose your madness on the rest of New Jersey.
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