Retirement Tips for the Age of Trump

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Milwaukee — When I retired from daily broadcasting in late 2016, I knew I had to make some serious resolutions. I no longer had to set the alarm for 4:15 a.m., but I didn’t want to sleep so late that I spent the morning walking around the house in a robe. (Trust me, that’ll happen sooner than you think.)

I also knew that I needed to continue to speak out about the bizarre fever that seemed to have gripped my fellow conservatives who had embraced Donald Trump.

Originally, my plan was to sit in a rocking chair, and after a few weeks to start rocking. But the election wrecked those plans, making retirement in the Era of Trump a complicated affair.

I started thinking about that this past week, when Orrin Hatch, the seven-term Republican senator from Utah, announced that he wouldn’t run for re-election this year. He joins two Republican colleagues, Bob Corker and Jeff Flake, in announcing retirement. Word is that Steve Bannon is also very likely to have a lot more free time on his hands soon, especially since the billionaire Mercer family has cut off his funding, one of the few things that has kept him relevant.

So even though they didn’t ask, I’m going to offer some pointers.

Get ready to meet new people.

You’ll be surprised how many people you thought were your best friends have apparently misplaced your phone number. Don’t worry, you’ll undoubtedly hear from cable television bookers — and the good news is that, since the cameras show you only from the waist up, you won’t have to wear pants. This won’t necessarily be a problem for Mr. Bannon, but I’m guessing it might come as news to Senator Hatch.

Enjoy your freedom.

You can give a well-received speech criticizing the president, as Mr. Flake did, without worrying about re-election or raising money. But you will also have to explain why you didn’t fight harder when you actually had some power and a vote.

Devise a schedule.

Just because you no longer have committee hearings, legislation to rubber-stamp or investigations to impede doesn’t mean you should let routine elude you.

Make a budget.

If you’ve been a member of Congress, this one might come as a shock. You won’t be able to run up huge debts and then tell the credit card company that it’s O.K. because you are counting on economic growth.

Reconnect with culture.

This would include binge-watching shows like “Stranger Things” or “House of Cards,” but I’d start with “Game of Thrones,” especially the episodes that feature the mad, thoroughly awful King Joffrey, a petulant narcissist, who may remind you of someone you know.

Make time to read.

I’ve already advised Mr. Flake to get a good dog, because he’ll need one if he wants any friends, but I’d recommend that Senator Hatch spend some time with a book. Shortly before he announced his retirement, Mr. Hatch gushed about Mr. Trump that “we’re going to make this the greatest presidency that we’ve seen, not only in generations, but maybe ever.” I’m going to suggest that Mr. Hatch’s loved ones give the soon-to-be ex-senator a biography of Abraham Lincoln. Or George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman or Ronald Reagan, or even a short pamphlet on William Henry Harrison. He’ll find it eye-opening.

On the subject of reading, Mr. Corker might want to spend time reading Goethe’s “Faust” — which I believe has a section on Mr. Corker’s recent vote to approve the tax bill.

Learn something new.

Mr. Bannon also might want to expand his cultural horizons, perhaps by learning a language of one of the few nationalities that he doesn’t want barred from the country. I’d suggest Italian, which would give him the ability to read Dante’s “Inferno” in the original. That should give him an idea of his future travel plans.

Stay off Twitter.

You are better off joining a bowling league, where you will definitely encounter a better quality of people than the ones you’ve been hanging around with. True, they won’t kiss your ring, but they also won’t hit you up for favors or ask you to cut rich folks’ taxes.

You still have work to do.

Your best accomplishments may actually lie ahead, especially if you continue to hold your party’s leader accountable. Now that you don’t have to curry favor with donors or run for re-election, you can continue to make a difference. If you get far enough away from Washington, you might realize what is most important: whether you stood firm in the truth when it mattered the most. And that it’s not too late to do just that.