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Today, I read one of the best Amazon reviews I have ever encountered. Interestingly, it is also one of the most useless... unless you are a bird in the market for a dildo.
On Nov. 18 of last year, a heroic Amazon user left a five-star review for the Lyps Silicone Dildo with Suction Cup, a sex toy meant to be affixed to a flat surface. Unfortunately, the user didn't really like the product — but their cockatiel did!
"[The dildo] has become my cockatiel's favorite perch in the shower and it will stay on every flat surface," they wrote. "It's a bit small for me but I guess it's my bird's dildo now."
And the bird looks thrilled. Look at his satisfied little face!
lol pic.twitter.com/16YWtaOgEq
— a big pretty Lizard (@birdcardigan) January 4, 2018
I never thought I'd say this, but what the hell: congrats to this bird on its new purple dildo. May it keep smiling forever. Five stars.