We have been together for four special years, but the past year has felt extremely forced and boring. I have had to go out of my way to please him. There are no surprises anymore
We have been together for four special years, but the past year has felt extremely forced and boring. I have had to go out of my way to please him. There are no surprises anymore. When I tell him about other couples, it annoys him. He is a very good man and I don't want to leave him, but I cannot stay in a relationship with no cute chats, late-night conversations and surprising dates or gifts. We don't talk much to each other like couples do, probably because our relationship goes back to our college days and there's nothing left to talk about. What should I do? End it or stay with him? I have made all possible efforts to make him give our relationship more importance but this only leads to fights.
— Mirza M
What you are going through isn't dramatically different from what most people in relationships deal with after being together for a while. One of you tends to take the other for granted, which is a natural thing, because it feels as if there's nothing new to discover. Spicing things up requires an effort, and it does seem as if you have tried a lot more than he has. You need to find new ways of getting to know each other better, which is easier said than done, of course, but which boils down to how badly you both want to be in each other's lives. Tell your boyfriend how you feel and ask him about the possibility of ending this if you both don't pull your weight equally to make it work. He probably isn't taking this as seriously as he ought to because he assumes you will always be a part of his life, no matter what. Being together for a long time tends to make some people complacent, which is also a fairly normal thing. He needs a wake-up call, and the sooner you give it to him, the sooner you both can
get around to fixing this.
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