To the Editor:
Re “When #MeToo Goes Too Far” (column, Dec. 21):
Bret Stephens and Matt Damon argue that there is a “spectrum of behavior,” in Mr. Damon’s words. No one is saying rape is the same as pinching a woman’s behind. But reducing the latter gives credence to the old thinking that a woman shouldn’t complain about the pinch.
For the first time women are free to tell it all, without someone telling her to “suck it up” because it’s just a pinch, or an exposure or locker room talk. For the first time women are coming forward without being judged, without repercussions and without someone grading their hurt.
Yes, it is painful to see some men lose their jobs for actions we used to call harmless. But until women of all ages can tell their stories and be heard, until we get it all out, until there are changes in every human resources department, until Congress doesn’t get to use taxpayer money to pay off women who stand up for themselves, until thoughtful men like Mr. Stephens and Mr. Damon understand all of the above, then no, we cannot and must not differentiate between rape and pinching a woman’s behind.
Here’s hoping that enough changes occur in 2018 so that we can.
CATHY NONAS, NEW YORK
To the Editor:
I think Bret Stephens misunderstands the intent of statements by the actress Minnie Driver and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand indicating there is no “hierarchy of abuse.” Like Pope Francis’ statement on the L.G.B.T. community — “Who am I to judge?” — Ms. Driver and Ms. Gillibrand are saying it is not for any of us to judge how a woman feels when sexually harassed or assaulted.
I don’t think either woman would say we can never have a conversation about how we treat different actions legally. They are saying two things: 1) We all have to be on the same page that these actions are wrong, and 2) We must never judge the impact of any type of harassment on the individual who experiences it.
Continue reading the main storySUSAN H. BRAGDON
PORTLAND, ORE.
To the Editor:
Bret Stephens warns the #MeToo movement not to violate “our gut sense of decency and moral proportion,” by equating the minor offender with the egregious. He notes that “all societies make necessary moral distinctions between high crimes and misdemeanors.”
It’s both rational and factual to note a difference between patting someone’s behind and rape. The problem is that we are not effective at administering punishment based on these distinctions. The burden of this failure falls far harder on the marginalized than the powerful. Our criminal justice system exemplifies this failure. Despite similar usage rates, African-Americans are incarcerated for drug charges at almost six times the rate of whites.
In this case, the marginalized are women everywhere. Sexual assault, degradation and violence have, for centuries, placed the burden of fear on them. Justice calls for that burden to shift to men. Instead of the woman fearing what might come after a boss’s inappropriate innuendo, it seems entirely decent and moral for the man to live in fear that his unrighteous act may cost him his job.
ARNAB DATTA, WASHINGTON
To the Editor:
I agree with Bret Stephens that there is a difference between verbal harassment, physical groping and rape. However, “all of the above” cause women to change or lose their jobs and thwart their careers. So while he is worried about male career advancement, particularly for those who have won prizes, maybe he ought to do a little research into the effects on women and their careers from these “clumsy” attacks. Let’s evaluate the punishment for the perpetrator based on the short- and long-term consequences to the victim.
DIANNE MCKENNA
SUNNYVALE, CALIF.