It seems like men are the subject of a witchhunt lately. Perhaps they are feeling more aware and cognizant of their behavior and actions due to recent events in the headlines. Heads have rolled; major players toppled.
It's easy to avoid the pitfalls and women's scorn. It's all a matter of terminology and a lack of assumptions. We are civilized and mannerly human beings. Our laws and morals take the animalistic tendencies out of our basic makeup – we hope. But how do you take nature and basic sexual/relationship needs and wants out of our daily interactions? How do we remedy the fact that men and women interact in a natural/biological way that ultimately leads to the possibility of procreation, the purpose of life? This is not an excuse for men or women, but the possible reason they cross boundaries that society now must dictate they cannot cross professionally.
Women have long been seen as second-class citizens but loved and "taken care of" since we are deemed to be "the weaker sex." We are mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, wives. This puts us at a disadvantage since we have babies and often this leads to our downfall due to dire economic situations at times. Our role is to rise above this fact and be self-sufficient and able take responsibility for ourselves and our children. We must be strong and be able to handle any situation from changing a tire to killing a spider.
If women choose not to take on "traditional" male jobs, we will remain the weaker sex. Women, you must demand more of yourselves and be capable of being self-sufficient if you are to achieve any equality.
Terminology is important. Men, don't call us "babe, honey, sweetie, darling, young lady, girl or gal." This degrades us. Use respectful terms such as Mrs. or Ms. or ma'am.
Actions are also important. If you walk into an office and there are two people working and one is a man and the other is a woman, don't assume the man is the one in charge and walk by the woman to ask the man your question.
And, we want you, men, to know that we really love you guys. We know that we have the real power because you can't live without us and go "brain dead" when we showcase our beauty. We kinda know that's wrong to use ourselves that way, but once again, you can't take nature out of the picture.
I have three younger brothers. My father never treated me any different from them. I credit him and my mother for growing within me the confidence to know that I will become anything I want to be, regardless of my sex. They made me the strong, confident woman I am today. I never felt any limitations until I matured and the world gave me my lessons about "where my place is."
As for all the sexual harassment business, remember that there is a three-foot comfort zone around each of us, man or woman, that, when violated, feels uncomfortable and intrusive. It's sort of like how you feel in a crowded elevator. Don't make women feel like they are in that inescapable elevator. Don't touch someone unless it is clearly invited. Like we were taught in kindergarten, keep your hands to yourself.
My husband is a beautiful and loving partner. He brings me flowers every week. We love and respect each other when we get along and when we don't. Individual relationships are different from professional ones. Please show respect and use the proper terminology and actions when addressing the opposite sex in professional settings. Women will love you for it.
Amy Thornton lives in Indian Hill.