Welcome to the Smarter Living newsletter. Editor Tim Herrera emails readers once a week with tips and advice for living a better, more fulfilling life. Sign up here to get it in your inbox every Monday morning.
We all know how it goes: Set an underdefined and overly ambitious goal for the new year, give up two weeks in and then pretend the whole thing never happened by the end of January.
This coming year, let’s resolve to set better resolutions. (Sorry, sorry, I had to.)
In our latest guide on setting and keeping resolutions, we pinpointed three major reasons we tend to fail.
First, we set resolutions based on something an external force (society, friends, whatever) is telling us to change, rather than something we want to change. Second, we set ambiguous goals without clearly defined markers of success. And third, we are simply unrealistic in our aims.
So what’s a change-seeker to do? In our guide, Jen A. Miller, friend of Smarter Living, suggests getting SMART:
Specific: Set concrete, clearly defined goals with specific points of success.
Measurable: Whatever the goal is, find ways to measure progress.
Continue reading the main storyAchievable: Aim high, but within reason. Your goal should be a stretch, but something you could actually achieve.
Relevant: Find a goal that matters enough to you that you’ll be motivated to stick with it.
Time-bound: Set a reasonable timeline for your goal, and focus on the small wins along the way.
O.K., so we know how to set sensible, specific goals. But how do we stay the course? Our guide has tons of advice, but let’s talk about two specific ways we often defeat ourselves: too much positive thinking and too little self-forgiveness.
Studies have found that while positive thinking is important for exploring future possibilities, it may be stifling your progress.
“The more positively people fantasize and daydream about their future success, the less well they do in terms of having actual success,” said Gabriele Oettingen, a professor of psychology at New York University.
So stay positive, but realistic. Don’t confuse your optimism with actual achievement.
As for self-forgiveness, what it really comes down to is this: Be comfortable with the fact that you will probably have slip-ups, and just move on when it happens. Wake up the next morning and keep trying to improve.
Longtime readers of Smarter Living will remember that earlier this year we invited you to tell us about your resolutions so we, as a community, could hold each other accountable. Now we want to do it all over again.
Send your 2018 resolutions to tim@nytimes.com and put “2018 resolutions” in the subject line, or tweet them to me @timherrera. Then in February we’re going to check back in with tips, advice and more to keep you motivated.
Have a great week!
—Tim
Best of Smarter Living
Why You Need the Flu Shot Every Year You probably know you need a flu shot every flu season, but here’s why — and why it’s so important.
How to Solve the New York Times Crossword Once you master a few basic strategies, you’ll find that crossword puzzle-solving is not only possible, but highly addictive. So let’s get solving!
A Smarter Way to Clean Up After Your Big Party The party’s over, and it’s time to drag yourself out of bed and set your home to rights.
Five Wine Books to Give This Holiday Season The top choices of this year’s wine books include an essential Champagne guide, an argument to organize wine by soil type and a thin volume of advice.
How to Cut the Cord on Cable Television has changed remarkably in recent years. It might be time for your viewing habits to change as well.
The Surprising Effects of Loneliness on Health Scientists are gaining a more refined — and surprising — understanding of the effects of loneliness and isolation on health.
What We’re Reading
• Cut it out. Stop teaching your preschooler to read.
• Go truly incognito while web browsing. Really.
• You deserve a treat (or two). But stop spending money on them.
• Pro tip: Wrap your holiday gifts with office supplies.
• Open up to your boss. Hug it out.
Continue reading the main story