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DEAR MISS MANNERS: With the advent of current events being headlined via social media, what is the proper way to inform a participant that their information is false, including verification, without this Southern gentleman’s
informing said offender that he/she may be the stupidest creature ever to draw breath?
GENTLE READER: Well, not that. No matter how much Southern charm you dress it up in.
If one were to go around correcting and berating everyone who spoke an untruth, one would do little else. And the fact that this behavior is being modeled by people we nevertheless elect to office does not excuse it.
If you wish to shield yourself from lies and propaganda, Miss Manners suggests that you disengage from offensive social media. Doing so provides a much more pleasant existence, and allows you to maintain friendships that might otherwise be dissolved.
If you cannot resist engaging, she would limit you to the occasional response that the offender “might be mistaken,” accompanied by corrected information. But as it is as easy to manufacture and call up incorrect “facts” as correct ones on the internet, do not be surprised if that person comes back for more and the battle continues.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family, including three children, are vegetarians. We are not the preachy, whiny kind; we just don’t eat meat. We have a full, fun, colorful, healthy diet of pastas, fruits, veggies, pizzas, bean dishes, etc. Most restaurants these days offer plenty for our family to choose from.
A cousin of mine also has children, and claims they have gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. (These are undiagnosed by a doctor. She just “feels” that’s the case.) Regardless, whenever they are at our home at meal times, I ALWAYS provide gluten-free/lactose-free options. I even baked a separate, gluten/lactose-free birthday cake at my child’s party so their kids could have cake.
When we go to their home, no such courtesy is extended to us. Family cookouts are basically just meat on the grill. No side dishes, not even any buns. Though one time, they did have potatoes.
Is it wrong to expect that when you are invited to a mealtime gathering that there be something you can eat? I can’t IMAGINE being so rude to my own guests.
GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners is sympathetic to your situation, she notes that you began by boasting that you were not the “preachy, whiny kind” of vegetarian. But unfortunately that appears to apply only to situations (your own house, a restaurant) that could easily accommodate you.
Your attention to your cousin’s mere feelings about certain foods (which, Miss Manners reluctantly points out, are also what yours are) is commendable, and it is not unreasonable to assume that your cousin’s family would act in kind. But they have not. So to maintain your low-maintenance status, eat around the choices and, if necessary, fortify before you go. Yes, it might be noticeable, but then it will teach your cousins to provide something of sustenance for you in the future.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
