A couple of weeks ago, I commented on the fact that customer service works in both directions — to and from the business operators and to and from customers.

It’s appropriate to revisit that idea as we move through December because, once again, we have entered the time of year we call “special.” That word carries a wide variety of meanings, and I won’t presume to define them. We all know what they are.

For our purposes, though, let’s just agree that multiple things happen almost simultaneously as we approach the end of another calendar year. They include not only business requirements but also shopping for gifts for friends, family and colleagues.

These “things” appear in our business activities, our family celebrations and our religious observations, to name just a few areas. With all that activity surrounding us within a rather short time frame, we can be overpowered by mounting pressures.

And those pressures sometimes result in dramatic changes in how we treat customers, colleagues, families and strangers.

Just attempting to get everything “done” is perhaps the major hurdle. But if we step back and examine the situation, we usually discover that most of the pressure is of our own making. It’s self-induced.

When we continue to add increasing doses of more and more pressure, something gives. Some of that self-inflicted pressure, however, can be traced to what we say to ourselves. If we use different words to describe situations, we can often discover ways to make changes. Try this for starters.

Start your sentences with “I want to …” rather than, “I have to …”

You’ll discover more flexibility in scheduling your time. You’ll give yourself permission to prioritize activities as you see fit and your internal pressure valve will open.

Everything on your “to do list” isn’t equally important, and deciding, “I don’t want to …” provides space and flexibility. As tasks are completed, of course, you can add or delete other items, but they will always be a matter of choice rather than compulsion.

Here’s another step.

In business and professional lives, many people talk about wanting to improve. They want to get a better job or an MBA, or to restructure a business plan. All desirable. But if those ideas just remain items on a list (like the holiday shopping list), nothing is completed. Writing down a few simple words can correct what is missing because the shopping list then becomes a plan.

Here they are: First, what do you want to do? Be specific. Second, when do you want to do it? Set a reasonable time frame. Third, how will you achieve it?

With the addition of what, when and how, you construct a manageable plan. Without them, you have a list of busy-work projects that might keep you active without making any real progress.

That usually leads to frustration, impatience and disappointment.

That, in turn, often results in short temper and carelessness, often leaving you with regrets.

So set your compass, check your watch, select your goals and start with a plan.

In some past columns, I’ve looked to Lewis Carroll for guidance in selecting strategies and planning activities. Here are a couple of reminders he provided. When Alice came to a fork in the road in “Alice In Wonderland,” she asked the Cheshire Cat, “Which road do I take?”

The cat said, “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

Alice responded, “I don’t care where …”

And the cat said, “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

If we step back for a moment as we confront the challenges of this “special time of the year,” we’ll discover how we can deal with the mounting pressures — as well as the opportunities we’re facing.

Now one more bit of advice from Lewis Carroll. When the White Rabbit asked the King of Hearts how to get started, the King said, “Begin at the beginning. Go until you reach the end. Then stop.”

That certainly sounds like a good way to face both the business and personal pressures of this wonderful holiday season.

Siesta Key resident J. Robert Parkinson, who has a doctorate in communications from Syracuse University, is an author, executive communication coach and consultant to companies throughout the U.S. and abroad. His books include, "Be as Good as You Think You Are" (Motivational Press), written with his wife, Eileen; "Becoming a Successful Manager" (McGraw-Hill) and "You Can't Push A String" (Black Opal Books). Contact him at joropa@northwestern.edu.