Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

I flew to the east coast, just so that I could see it three hours earlier.

And if you'll believe that, you'll believe I bought a Nissan Rogue: Rogue One Limited Edition.

Still, I ventured to the first showing of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (for real people, you understand) at a movie theater in south Florida. 

I confess I find the obsessive insanity that surrounds the Star Wars franchise a touch perplexing. 

Two years ago, I went to the opening night of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and all I witnessed was a bunch of angry characters venting their life-addled spleens. 

No, not the audience, the actors.

This time around, I still went with an open mind. My girlfriend adores Star Wars and can quote from its Siths and legends.

To me, it's just a populist movie. But I wanted to like it just to please her. I mean, to surprise her.

So I went to a theater where they serve alcohol. I figured the audience would be more animated. 

On the positive side, I confess that The Last Jedi isn't entirely dull.

It's nicely paced and the actors muster gusto. Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico is, to my mind, the revelation of the show. 

But here's what bothered me. It's the bad guys. 

I understand that they're supposed to wear black (or white) and act mean. I appreciate that, like so many bad guys, they think they're slightly smarter than they really are.

But why can these people never have any fun?

They pull hostile faces. They sneer with superiority. But they never have a beer or a raucous night on the town. They barely go outside. 

They spend their time manning spaceships and shooting at people. Professional gamers do this, but when they finally kill everyone off, they scream out loud, have a few beers and a burger and smile at the camera.

I understand that many movie villains go about their evil in a serious manner, but these guys have less fun, I suspect, than HAL 9000.

Gordon Gekko, now he had fun. I fancy Hannibal Lecter had some good times, too. 

I can even imagine Darth Vader knocking back a few vodkas with his buddies in his youth. But Snoke and General Hux likely played bridge and read Lermontov.

When you look at Princess Leia, Poe Dameron and Luke Skywalker, yes, they've had their disturbing times, but you can believe they've had some rollicking ones too. That's why it's easy to pull for them. 

But show me one Stormtrooper who's stayed out with his friends till 4 in the morning. 

You'll tell me, perhaps, that Snoke and his ilk get their kicks simply out of killing the good guys. Which makes them as attractive and fascinating as tobacco company CEOs.

The finest villains surely have something to be envied and even aspired to. 

You have to look at their personalities and lifestyles and think: "Yes, he's a horrible human, but he knows how to throw a party."

Bobby Axelrod on Billions isn't the loveliest of people, but you wouldn't mind having dinner with him to hear his stories, would you?

Please, if you love Star Wars, you'll really enjoy this movie. It has all sorts of nods and winks to the past and positive portents for the future. 

But can it be that in a galaxy far, far away -- the one, presumably toward which we're all heading -- the bad guys will be so miserably dull?

And if you tell me that their only fun really does lie in destroying the good guys, what happens when they kill them all? 

They'll die of boredom.