Weinstein, Spacey, Rose, Louis C.K., Franken, Conyers, Keillor, Lauer, the list goes on. Then there is Bill Cosby, who is in a class by himself. The sexual harassment continuum is vast, complicated and ever-changing.
Congress is busy with allegations and new investigations. Don’t be surprised if a significant number of its members are pressured to resign. A belated apology might suffice at one extreme, while jail-time may be the other extreme, with large sums paid along the way to silence or settle claims. Denial is often the road most followed. But sooner rather than later, everyone will know about your secret office fling.
Certainly, the rules are changing; or at least a better attempt is being made to enforce them. What should business owners, men and women, do to keep their companies out of the quagmire?
Here are some thoughts and suggestions. But I strongly suggest that you discuss this topic with your HR staff or experts, legal counsel and then your employees. Document everything and make sure you follow through to enforce company policy.
Rule No. 1: Everyone is entitled to a safe and comfortable working environment free from harassment.
Rule No. 2: This is for the men: Do not dip your pen in the company ink. I heard this admonition decades ago, and it holds true more than ever today.
Rule No. 3: If you violate rules No. 1 or 2, you could lose everything — your reputation, employees, business, spouse, money — even your freedom.
Rule No. 4: Discuss what is unacceptable behavior. Insist that violations are reported immediately and ensure that disciplinary action is taken, as needed, including dismissals.
Rule No. 5: Avoid over-reacting to "he said, she said" allegations. Speak to all concerned and investigate, using HR and/or legal professionals, as needed.
Rule No. 6: If you have a company policy regarding dating and office relationships, enforce it. Especially focus on seniority-subordinate relationships. Can the senior employee in a relationship affect the well-being of the subordinate, including pay, raises, workload, firing and transfers?
“It is my job to perform internal investigations in the workplace when a claim of harassment or other inappropriate behavior is made," said Sara C. Sharp, of counsel for Sparkman + Foote LLP. "After these come up, it’s always tempting for employers to institute a policy forbidding dating in the workplace. Usually, these policies don’t work out well because they are rarely enforced by the company once the dust settles. I always tell clients, the only thing worse than having no policy is having a policy and then not following it.”
The onus is on the person who is higher in the company hierarchy, added Sharp, who I contacted via helpareporter.com.
“A supervisor who becomes romantically involved with someone subordinate to them in the organization needs to recognize the hazards involved," she said. "If all goes well, they stand to be accused of sexual favoritism by subordinates and inappropriate relationships by their peers. If it doesn’t go well, they may need to deal with a spurned lover saying the relationship was never consensual.
"Even consensual relationships between non-managerial individuals have the tendency to disrupt the workplace, as people perceive that there is now an alliance."
Managers should point out to colleagues entering a romantic relationship that, if the relationship goes sour, they will still need to work together, said Fran Sepler, president of Sepler & Associates and another helpareporter.com source.
It's true that employers — particularly public employers — can't prohibit people from forming relationships. (Freedom of association, amongst other things, stands in the way of such a ban.) Policies should clearly focus on behavior that might stem from such a relationship, rather than the relationship itself, Sepler said.
But there guidelines to follow to keep things simple.
“A rule of thumb is never cross business with pleasure if it involves chain of command," Sepler said. "Companies should have policies outlining inter-office relationships, harassment, and discrimination. Regardless of whether or not inter-office relationships are allowed, a company should look to minimize liability with potential harassment, favoritism, retaliation or discrimination.
"Dating a co-worker opens the door for liabilities such as these and lawsuits that are difficult to defend," she said. "If your company doesn’t have a policy about inter-office relationships, the best rule to abide by is one of complete transparency.
"Should you choose to start a relationship, notify your manager and HR immediately."
The next step is to put it in writing, according to Christine Clemmens, director of Human Resources at iRewardHealth Inc. "Employees should sign a document acknowledging they are aware of and fully understand harassment and discrimination policies and confirm the relationship is consensual.”
Although not directed to company owners, Jonathan Bennett of The Popular Man advice website has some thoughts on do’s and don’ts regarding office romance etiquette:
Do:
• Research company policy regarding dating fellow employees (and follow it!)
• Keep all overt romance and efforts at romance off company time.
• Realize that if the relationship fails, it will likely be very awkward.
• Try to arrange it so that you’re not working directly with the person you’re dating.
Don’t:
• Date or pursue subordinates or those you supervise.
• Show favoritism to the person you’re dating or promise favors as part of dating.
• Act in a way that runs afoul of sexual harassment policies.
Roy Cohen, career coach and author of "The Wall Street Professional's Survival Guide," perhaps sums it up best: ”You can’t prevent employees from dating, but you should encourage them to exercise good judgment for the following reasons:
"Dating colleagues is a dumb career move. It will almost always fail. It may seem like a great idea at the time. It’s convenient, after all, you both work long hours, you share common interests and values, but it’s a bad decision. The odds of a relationship failing are too great to risk your career. It’s easy for valued employees to think that their relationship and experience will be different from others. If successful and it appears that one of you is offering the other preferential advantages, you could both find yourself in trouble."
Dennis Zink is a volunteer, certified mentor and chapter chairman of Manasota SCORE. He is the creator and host of Been There, Done That! with Dennis Zink, a nationally syndicated business podcast series. He facilitates a CEO roundtable for the Manatee Chamber of Commerce, created a MeetUp group, Success Strategies for Business Owners and is a business consultant. Email him at centreofinfluence@gmail.com.