Introducing Dr Love, Who Solves Your Relationship Riddles In A Confusing Digital Age
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My son is dating someone I do not approve of. I have told him to stop repeatedly, but he accuses me of not trying to understand him. I want to, but I don't see how I can if he blatantly ignores my advice like this. How can I convince him?
Did your parents approve of everything you did and everyone you dated? Why not empathise with him? Allow him to make his own mistakes and, if he really likes this girl, allow him to make his own choices too. Encourage him to become an individual with a mind of his own.
I saved a lot of money to take my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant on her birthday. The bill was over Rs 10,000 but I paid it because it was a special day for her. After we left the restaurant, she asked me why I hadn't given her a gift. Apparently, her friends had bought her some jewellery and someone even got her a voucher for a spa treatment. I thought she was joking at first, but she wasn't and believes I didn't buy her anything because I don't care about her. I was hurt and in tears, so I didn't even bother pointing out that I had saved for a long time to pick up that restaurant bill. If she cares about that so little and is only interested in material things, is it even worth it for me to invest my time in a relationship with someone like her?
It does seem as if your girlfriend is mildly delusional about what people owe her on her birthdays. If she doesn't appreciate what you have done and, worse, fails to even recognise it, you should sit her down and tell her exactly why it was a big deal for you. Also, if she doesn't take these intangible tokens as signs of love, you should evaluate whether or not it makes sense for you to be with a person like this.
