I paused before replying, which gave her time to add: “What with the one in Bali about to erupt.” 

“Volcanoes,” I said. 

“Yes, but I was thinking of leaving it until next month. 

“January is Volcano Awareness Month in Hawaii, you know.” 

“I didn’t know that,” she confessed, “but did you know that 75 per cent of Britons say they have not challenged themselves physically or mentally in the past six months.” 

“What does that have to do with volcanoes?” I asked. 

“Are you suggesting they should challenge themselves physically by going to Bali now or Hawaii next month and standing close to an erupting volcano?” 

“No, not at all,” she replied.  

“I’m suggesting they should do something like the Hyundai KONA 10 challenge.” 

“I think you’ve lost me again,” I said. 

“I believe Hyundai has something to do with motorcars and Kona is connected with coffee. 

“Are you suggesting that 75 per cent of Britons should drink 10 coffees while driving a motorcar?” 

“KONA,” she said, “as well as being coffee, is a car from Hyundai rugged enough for all sorts of terrain, which makes it particularly suitable for the KONA 10 challenge, which involves battling snow and high winds to drive across 10 particular landscapes around the UK and Ireland in just 72 hours. 

“Sophie Radcliffe just succeeded in doing it, you know.” 

“I didn’t know,” I said. 

“I also don’t know what this has to do with Bali.” 

“They’re volcanic landscapes,” she explained. 

“So are you suggesting,” I asked, “that the lives of 75 per cent of Britons would be enhanced by driving across lava fields?” 

“Well they’re not exactly lava fields,” she admitted, “but they are all landscapes that were produced long ago by now extinct volcanoes.” 

“That sounds safer than going to Bali,” I said, “but I doubt your figure of 75 per cent.” 

“On what grounds?” she asked. 

“On the grounds that according to recent surveys, 75 per cent of people have said that they have had one or more paranormal experiences in their lifetime and 75 per cent of people have no idea what the maximum amount of salt they should consume each day is. 

“Are these people not challenged by the threat of being abducted by aliens? 

“Are they not plagued with mental challenge every time they shake a salt cellar over their food? 

“Does not the addition of a possible excess of salt constitute a physical risk?” 

She stayed silent for a few seconds, then said that “according to the Hyundai survey that produced my 75 per cent figure, 23 per cent of people say they don’t take up a new challenge because they don’t have time.” 

“They’re fibbing,” I said. 

“For an earlier survey this year reported that 23 per cent of men say that they find love-making over too soon. 

“It seems to me they must have plenty of time free to take up new challenges.” 

“You could be right,” she said sighing deeply, and we left it at that.