I was an assistant invigilating in a recent November examination in Nelson Mandela University at the Indoor Sports Centre in south campus. 

This is a special venue in the university for me personally. It is where I graduated and it is where I was facilitating student mass meetings this year around funding issues and the development of the new SRC constitution we have. 

However, on this specific day, with an examination taking place, it felt different. Students were full in the venue like they always are in it. But this time around though, they were quiet, focused, responding to the question paper in front of them that is shaping their tomorrow. 

As I was seated quiet for those 3 hours, I began reflecting on the year that has passed and I asked myself a question; why are students sometimes unhappy, demotivated, and sometimes want to change courses or give up? 

Well, since my term as SRC president is coming to an end in two weeks’ time, I decided to zone out of the hectic race, class and gender rhetoric into something simpler: the lack of inspirational stories. 

So I asked my colleagues in the venue at the end of the examination session a question, "colleagues, you are all doing Masters and PhD, so meaning you have survived and passed through this demanding exercise of examinations. Have you ever shared your stories with these young students?" Most said no and others did not understand why I was asking.

I asked this question because I have a feeling that some successful people at university (those who have graduated) do not share their journey with those who are still on it. For instance, when someone graduates, there is always a pattern I notice with their public story. After high school they post on social media about their first day at university, then midway through they post a lot of happy photos as a student in the university (lunch with friends, winning an award, partying, etc). Then, lastly, they post their graduation photo. The story is just that. Short. Simple. Well-polished. Easy. Quick. Done. There are no details in between.

Successful people do not share the details of their hardships with those on the journey, even in private one-on-one conversations. They do not mention that maybe for four months they did not have food in university or they ran out of toothpaste and had to use soap, or they had to borrow someone's laptop to type a tutorial, or they failed English 101 three times before graduation or their final examination before graduation was a supplementary.

Those details are never revealed. Some successful people do not even reveal these stories to their own younger siblings.

As a result, when a second year, 19-year-old student in 2017 is going through difficulty, they think that it's happening to them only. They think that there is something inadequate about themselves because the successful people they see in front of them online seem to have gone through all of it easily. 

I argue that there is a big difference between passing a subject and completing a degree. Passing a subject does not take more than five months. It is quite quick. In contrast, completing a degree takes a long time. Therefore, a 19-year-old sometimes go through their studying and wonder, "but why is it taking so long with me? When am I going to finish?"

The image of instant gratification in their head becomes a painfully long process that is so hard to understand. In fact, the catchphrase "you must graduate in record time", drives them crazy. It makes them think that repeating a subject for another year is failure. They hate that. They cry over that. 

In fact, when the Faculty officer tells them to repeat a subject, there is always an inner voice that follows in them that says "drop this degree and go home or rather start another one. This was clearly not meant for you". They go through a lot of psychological breakdown. They drown in their own panic. They cry. Others drink coffee. Others do drugs. Others just sleep. Others begin to be inspirational speakers on our news feeds. It is a heart breaking experience to watch.

Why does all this happen? I argue that it happens because one of the mistakes we commit is that those who succeed keep their stories to themselves. The successful people who have graduated think that sharing their stories is a sign of weakness. The socio-academically struggling students think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Literally, everyone is locked up in this artificial bubble of fierce pretending and an uncontrollable display of borrowed confidence. It is all unhealthy. 

I, therefore, suggest to our postgraduates and senior students to grab a first year, second year and third year student and share their honest story when they are with them. The story shared does not have to be made public but just a small chat with anyone of the young students close to the experienced seniors in a one-on-one conversation could make a noteworthy difference in their lives.

- Pedro Mzileni is a Masters sociology student and SRC president at Nelson Mandela University.