No politics, please

On the auspicious occasion of Black Money Day, only liars and corrupt are upset (Illustration: C R Sasikumar)

The life of the nation, as seen by the WhatsApp Uncle. You know him, don’t you? As you all will have noticed, I have stayed off making political comments in this group. But on the auspicious occasion of Black Money Day, I think we must acknowledge the BOLD, HISTORIC, MOMENTOUS move by our Honourable Shri Prime Minster. ONLY LIARS AND CORRUPT PEOPLE ARE UPSET. The prime minister is like the head of the family. We must be respecting him. All that he does is for the good of THE NATION.

I will be shortly sending a video of Pakistani terrorists in Kashmir crying while planning their cow smuggling operations in the name of Tipu Sultan. Beta Neha, before you say “tau ji iska proof kya hai?”, let me remind you — I have been a proud officer of this country!!! I have fought black money on the front lines—in the income tax department. We knew who the chors were, but we kept silent. Now at last we have a Prime Minister who works day and night abroad to kill corruption. So beta, keep Oxford-Harvard walas in your pocket.

Real sons of Bharat Mata love notebandi. It ended all the terrorists and anti-nationals. Our soldiers are proud today on the border.

The PEOPLE are celebrating notebandi. Just the other day the maali of 22 years — Sheetal would know his name if she managed the house, instead of spending late night in office every day. (I will leave that between my wife and bahu :) ) has started working in two extra houses because his wife, a maid, lost her job. Jobs are growing every day but these people want more. Three jobs for two people, huh.

Swastik, you should know this. Jawaani ka khoon hum mein bhi tha. But you are finishing college now — enough of this poor-shoor, secularism nonsense. If you want to stay ahead in life, you CAN’T let them take advantage of you. For 1,200 years, we have been suppressed. But now on border and in hawala money, we have sarkar on our side. Don’t fall into blind idealism… sacrifice for the motherland!!! Listen to your father and me… do your MBA.

Neha, you ask, “What is wrong with cash? Germany has so much cash, England swims in rokra.” You have no problem with taking Uber back from your parties, but have problem with BHIM APP and Aadhaar. This is the problem of libtards. If tomorrow Congressi invented shoelace tier or a specialised contraption for styling ear-hair, they would all use it. PM gives people Paytm and they all start crying.

Finally, I want to say: Family, please don’t let this group become a place to disrespect your nation and your elders. Our ancient sages gave us varnashram dharma. We must follow it.

P.S.: As always, if anyone disagrees with me, I will leave this group and emotionally blackmail you through my sympathisers. Neha, that means your Ma calling you at work and asking you to “let it go” and apologise at least five times a day.