'My wife insists on sex at least once a week'

Oct 26, 2017, 07:11 IST | Dr Love

My wife insists on us having sex every week, despite the fact that I don't enjoy it as much as she does. It used to be fun, but I think of it as a chore now. I love her a lot, and we have a good time and get along well when we are together; it's just her insistence on this that annoys me, because she doesn't take my feelings into consideration. If she doesn't care about what I think, it makes me feel like an object, which depresses me a lot. I don't know how to broach the subject, because she will assume she's not good enough or something and that may lead to some other confrontations that I would rather avoid. How do I resolve this?
It's interesting how a significant number of women would identify with this particular predicament, simply because the notion of objectifying someone and taking them for granted comes more easily to some cultures than it does to others. Having said that, you really are doing yourself as well as your wife a disservice by not telling her how you feel. A marriage is about a partnership, about give and take, and about respecting one another's needs, likes and dislikes. If this isn't enjoyable, there are ways to change that. Speak to a professional if you must, but don't take physical intimacy for granted. It has a huge role to play in your growth as a couple, so I suggest you speak to your wife about this as quickly as possible and take steps to remedy it before things get out of hand.

I wanted to have sex on my birthday, but my girlfriend told me she couldn't because she wasn't in the mood. This tiny issue blew out of proportion and we ended up splitting. How do I get her back?
Sex is between consenting adults. If you recognise that this was blown out of proportion, why aren't you telling her instead of writing in to a columnist?

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