My boyfriend has been with me for five years now, which is great, except for the fact that he seems to have changed as a person. Earlier, he would have eyes only for me but, now, whenever we go out, he shamelessly checks out other women, and even tells me about them. It's as if he doesn't care about what I think anymore, either because he is so comfortable with me, or because he thinks it's okay to look at other women if we are secure in our relationship. I don't know how to discuss it with him, because he will simply ask me to calm down and not make a big deal out of it, but I think it's a sign of things changing, and not in a good way. If this is how he is now, will he openly flirt with other women in a year or so? That's what bothers me. How can I make him understand this and help him be more like the person he used to be?
This doesn't really imply a lack of sensitivity for you, as much as it does a taking for granted of your relationship, considering the two of you have been together for as long as you have. He will change, of course, as will you, because that happens to us all, and not all these changes will be for the better. If he starts doing things that you find unappealing, you simply have to remind him of who he was, and why you fell in love with him. He may not be aware of how he has changed, or why his behaviour annoys you, so you must point these changes out to him, even if he thinks you're overreacting. If you care about him, and would like him to be a better person, you owe this to him as well as yourself. Also, he needs to know that checking out women while he's with you is disrespectful, to you as well as those women.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com