A day of hope and forgiveness for them

BENGALURU: Emotions ran high at Paigam-e-Mohabbat, as families of former Kashmiri militants, victims of violence in Kashmir and families of martyrs came on a common platform. On Friday morning, about 200 families, most of who had lost family members to violence in Kashmir, came face to face at an event organised by the Art of Living Foundation in an attempt to heal victims of the conflict.

Participants said that though they were aware of the peace efforts going on, they were unaware that they would have to face those responsible for the death of their family members.
What began on an emotional note, with tears flowing on both sides, concluded with a discussion on the need to find a logical solution. Dr Priya Sankalp, wife of martyred Lt Col Sankalp, who broke down as she spoke and said, “I did not know so many emotions existed within me until I met the families of militants. Kashmir is becoming a place where our sons and husbands lay down their lives. The fact that we are sitting here together shows that there is an initiation of forgiveness.”

Priya said had she been aware that the event would bring families of militants on the same platform, she would have refused to attend it. “I had a breakdown. I realised there are so many other people like me. There are parents who have lost their children and widows,” she said. She explained that through her interactions, she understood that it was not political factors alone but also socio-economic conditions that has turned Kashmir into a ground that breeds violence.

“We are here to say ‘enough is enough’. There is a greater army of widows and orphans that is being formed every day. We need a solution that is beyond what happens in Parliament,” she added.
Neha Tripathi, wife of martyred CRPF commander Pramod Kumar said that even if the minds of 5 per cent of people can change that Kashmir is an integral part of the country, a lot can change. “When I lost my husband, I was unable to sleep for months together. I had to go on pills. I would always think why did that happen to me? We talk about human rights. So doesn’t my daughter have the right to be with her father?”

Neha said that undergoing a happiness course at Art of Living helped her deal with the emotions and hence she consented to be on the platform to ensure violence comes down and there is a stronger nation.

The discussion also saw the participation of a former militant. Farooq Ahmad Dar was 21 when the situation in Kashmir had turned violent. Speaking to Express on the sidelines of the event, he said that it was after seeing his mother and other innocent people being given third degree treatment after searches yielding nothing that he turned violent. “One must understand what makes the youth turn that way. Many see their family members being tortured in front of their eyes. Anger and revenge are the only things in their mind then. The agitated are never spoken to. Families of those who face violence are never met,” he said. Dar was jailed for three years after which he continued studies and is now running a fruit business.

Munir Chaudhary, a youth leader from Kashmir, said, “Insaan har ghar mein paida hota hai, insaniyat har ghar mein paida nahi hoti hai (Humans are born in every house, but humanity is not).” He said that Kashmir is portrayed in poor light. “There is hypocracy. People say Kashmir is an integarted part of India. Then why do Kashmiri youth who come to study elsewhere get harassed? We need solutions to problems and we hope to see Kashmir turn heaven again,” he added.

The participating families said that through the discussion, they attempted to forgive each other for the past and are hopeful that an apolitical platform helps find solutions to the problem.
The parents of martyr Major Akshay Girish Kumar, who lost his life in a terrorist attack in Nagrota in November last year, were among the tens of families present. Speaking to Express, the martyr’s mother Meghana Girish said, “We understand their loss too. We came with an open mind. In our hearts, there is no hatred.”

His father Girish Kumar felt that the programme opened new doors to achieving peace. Kumar told Express that the reason he agreed to attend the programme was because it was a spiritual place. “We have gone through difficult emotions over the past few months. We wanted something different and something new. I leave with a feeling of hope,” he said.
On the occasion, families of martyrs exchanged flowers with the family of former militants in the presence of spiritual leader Sri Sri Ravishankar.