‘God will definitely look like Salman Khan’

Aravind Radhakrishnan is a freelance standup comedian from the city who regularly appear for open mics and corporate events. He is a chartered accountant by profession. He debuted in 2015 and has done over 50 shows.

What if god was a man?  What if god was a woman? God controls everything right?

Sometimes, flights go missing and sometimes, vehicles ram into each other. So, I think god is a man and he’s a big Grand Theft Auto (GTA) fan.

What would your first word to god be if he/ she appeared in front of you? Selfie?

If there was a dare/challenge you would like to give god what would it be? Interpret Kamal Haasan’s tweets.

If you had the power to grant one gift to god, what would it be?

Visibility. Your most godly encounter? Watched him play a straight drive at Chepauk.

What if god were an alien?

Then I’ll have to get Jadoo tips from Hrithik Roshan.

I’ll email him, but will he reply? What do you think will offend god? Eating beef, maybe? If god appeared to you, what would you say? Can I see some identification please? If there was one thing you’d want god to change, what would it be? Why? His name.

Yeah, he’s got millions of names. Change all that and make it one single name. A superpower you would wish for? What would you do with it? I’m a poor driver. So a superpower to get away with whatever mess I create when I drive. Oh wait, is that already given to someone else? If you meet Yama (lord of death), what will you tell him? So... How long before it’s Trump’s turn? Hollywood vs Bollywood: which industry would you want to be in ‘as punishment’? Why?

Bollywood. Because #NepotismRocks Which actress/actor would you want god to look like? Why? Salman Khan of course. He has as a blind set of followers and also judges other people, dishing out punishments (Bigg Boss). That’s the closest you can get to being God. What would be the brand of liquor you too will share, if you meet up for a drink? Jack Daniel’s. No joke or pun here. JD is way too awesome. That’s it.