National Bosses Day sure does sneak up on ya, huh? I mean, it’s today! As in, right now. Time to do some last-minute shopping. Choose same day delivery on Amazon Prime, got it?
Ok. Wait. Full stop.
National Bosses Day? This is a thing?
Oh yes, it’s a thing. I found out about it by seeing it on my calendar at home. We have one of those giant desk calendars hanging on the wall to remind ourselves we need to take our kids everywhere. And it’s not lousy with holidays; it only has the big ones. Somehow, National Bosses Day made the cut.
As you may have guessed, Hallmark is in on this. They’ve got a website, hyping the fact they have over 50 different National Bosses Days greeting cards to choose from, including “cards for a work group to present collectively,” which sounds like something a Chinese factory worker might be interested in.
The best(?) part about National Bosses Day is its genesis. It was invented in 1958 by Patricia Bays Haroski, who was working for State Farm Insurance in Deerfield, Illinois. She chose October 16 as the day because it was her dad’s birthday (awwwww!). She also loved her boss (awwwww!). I mean, she really, really loved him (awwww … huh?) Her boss was her dad (what the hell?).
That’s right. We have to endure National Bosses Day because some woman worked for her dad and thought he was a good guy. Newsflash, Patty: We already have a day for this. It’s called Father’s Day. Buy your pop a tie and move on. No need to drag the rest of us into this.
I was a boss once. Yep. Before I decided I wanted to be a newspaper columnist and spend my days in my pajamas eating cereal out of the box while picking lint out of my belly button, I was in management. I was the “city editor” of this very newspaper. I ran the show on the news side. I was responsible for assigning stories, choosing which stories were worth going after, and generally annoying the hell out of the reporters.
It would have been weird to have gotten a gift from them. I would’ve been suspicious. I may have called in the Trenton police bomb squad. Or at least a K-9 unit.
It feels un-American, honestly, this whole National Bosses Day thing. Aren’t we supposed to rage against the machine? That’s hard to do when you’re at Yankee Candle deciding between Autumn in the Park and Cascading Snowberry for your dear leader.
Now before we go any further, know this: I like my boss. Heck, I’ve got three bosses — here at the paper, over at NJ101.5, and at Rider University. And as I sit here currently, all three have treated me well. I actually like all three of them. But I’m not getting them any gifts. It would be weird.
I mean, my boss here at The Trentonian, John Berry, is a huge “Star Wars” fan. I suppose I could get him a “Star Wars” Tusken Raider Deluxe Overhead Costume Latex Mask for $23.98 on Amazon, but I’m not. What kind of message would that be sending? That you’re a swell guy and thanks for not firing me?
Which actually begs the question: Let’s say you do get your boss a gift. What then? What happens when the machine you should’ve been raging against chews you up and spits you out on to the unemployment line? Do you get your Star Wars Tusken Raider Deluxe Overhead Costume Latex Mask back? Patty Haroski never thought of that, I bet, especially in the 1950s when no one got fired.
Shoot, if anything, we should flip this around. How about National Employees Day? How about that? How about you get me a Star Wars Tusken Raider Deluxe Overhead Costume Latex Mask, John? Bet it never crossed your mind. Unbelievable. Typical boss behavior. Typical.
This might’ve been my last column, huh? Well, we had a good run.
Jeff Edelstein is a columnist for The Trentonian. He can be reached at jedelstein@trentonian.com, facebook.com/jeffreyedelstein and @jeffedelstein on Twitter.
