There can be no one who is universally popular. No one is liked by everyone. While some may have great affection for a person, there may be others who are mildly affectionate and some who positively hate him. One should not delight too much in the affection one gets from some; nor should one worry about the dislike that others exhibit towards one. Maintaining a balanced approach to life is what is conducive to mental peace, without which no spiritual pursuit is possible said Suki Sivam in a discourse.
Buddha was once approached by a man who showered abuses on him. Buddha did not react at all to the man’s rudeness. After the visitor left, Buddha’s disciples asked him why he had not responded to the man’s vile ranting. Buddha replied that whatever the man had given to Buddha had been taken back by him. In other words, since Buddha was indifferent to what had been said the abuses did not touch him at all. The man who had hoped to provoke him went back defeated in his intentions.
Jnanis always have this attitude to praise and abuse, to displays of affection and hate. One may offer gifts to them; or one may meet them just to be disrespectful to them. Either way, they remain calm and unperturbed. But our attitude of reacting to every criticism that comes our way is what makes us unhappy.
A man may abuse us and if we don’t think about it at all, then we can continue with our work peacefully. But we keep playing back the incident again and again in our mind and this keeps the unpleasant incident alive. Such an attitude makes us miserable. Instead of thinking about how to attain liberation from births and deaths, we spend our time worrying about what someone said or did.
If we are indifferent to abuse, the abuser loses interest and stops the taunts.