Two events have shocked the country in the past few weeks – the first being the news of aspiring medical student Anitha’s suicide, and the second the invasion of Russian import, the fatalistic Blue Whale game. Since the news of these events broke, they have been enveloped in a cloud of media frenzy and political handwringing. What seems to have slipped under the radar is the opportunity these upsetting events present – a chance to talk to our loved ones about mental health.
I’m not downplaying the situation that pushed Anitha to act, and granted, her circumstances point towards institutional failures that could take many years to correct. What I do feel deserves discussion though, are the feelings of depression, hopelessness and anger that might lead a person to view death as a viable recourse. Imagine being a teenager who has to take on the central government (of all things), while representing the hopes and dreams of countless other students just like you. It could not have been an easy burden to bear.
Alternatively, imagine being a teenager who is pressured into committing suicide because a faceless cyber bully prophesies that bad things will happen if you don’t. What were the feelings that motivate a person to try something like Blue Whale, despite knowing fully well what the outcome would be?
Preventable
With the right kind of help, suicide is quite preventable. As a matter of fact, in a move that was long overdue, the Supreme Court had decriminalised attempts to commit suicide, earlier this year. This is a recognition that treatment, and not punishment, is the answer.
Parents of youngsters — use the events of the past few weeks to start a conversation. You may think, “Well, depression and anxiety are things that other people’s kids might face, but not mine”. How can you be sure of that? Only one way to find out. Talk to your kids about mental health, and explain that it is as important as physical health, because it is seldom taught in schools or by society. Help them recognise that it is not a taboo topic that needs to be dealt with silently, or brushed under the carpet. You don’t have to launch into a lecture on suicide prevention, but just giving your kids comfort in knowing that they are not alone, and that they do not need to battle negative feelings by themselves, can go a long way.
It’s possible that they may eventually open up to you about going through a tough time. In this situation, don’t go into a “solution” mode. Listen to them without judgment, and explore the possibility of attending counselling sessions with a qualified psychologist. This is especially important if you start noticing changes in their behaviour (mood swings, erratic sleeping patterns, becoming more withdrawn, etc.).
Teenagers, here is your lesson for today: Make smart choices. If you are uncertain if you need help, then that probably means you do. Help can come from a variety of sources — parents, friends, teachers, and even strangers (think of free helplines for suicide prevention). Remember, you are never alone, even though it sometimes feels that way.
Finally, I can’t believe this bears mentioning but here goes — if you are encouraged to download the Blue Whale game, don’t. If you are already harbouring negative feelings, the game is only going to push you towards self harm, not help you get better.
And to those of you who want to download the game just to see what all the fuss is about — think of all the potential malware you are almost certainly going to end up with when you do!
The author is a psychologist and management consultant.krithvis@gmail.com