Go From Clueless To Clued Up In 7 Steps

I met a young man recently. Let us just call him Jay. Jay just had a job in a new place. While the salary was good, the opportunities were greater and the work profile would utilize his skills better, he was still in a quandary. He had no clue whether to take up this offer or to stay on in the present job where his next promotion was due and prospects were good, too. Jay was clueless about his next step. It had been a week, and time was running out on him. He had to make a choice.

This is a scenario only people who are clueless about themselves face. Self-assured people or people with clues always know what is best for them and what works for them. People like Jay are undecided and indecisive about most things in life and need a lot of reassurance from others. Everything they say reflects their lack of self-confidence and inability to back their decisions. They become slaves to others’ suggestions.

Are you one of them? Are you often so flooded with advice that what was a two-pronged problem eventually becomes a multi-pronged one?

As a clueless person, you become vulnerable to be negatively manipulated, bullied, controlled, misled, misguided, cheated, enslaved and made fun of – none of which is a happy thing to happen to you.

If you are one of them, no worries. All you need is just a bit of training to go from clueless to clued up. Yes, you can train yourself to be self-assured.

• Celebrate your individuality: Be proud of who you are, without worrying about approval and appreciation.
• Do what is right for you: You are your own person and know what is best for you. So do what you believe is right for you, not what others want you to do.
• Learn from your mistakes: It’s OK to make mistakes along the way and make decisions that may be wrong. Instead of taking every “wrong” as a failure, consider these mistakes a victory. 
• Your success depends on how you feel, not how others view you: Everyone around you may have different definitions or views of success. Define what it means to you. Only you can define what you can do and how far you can go to become the best you. Listen to the voice inside YOUR head, not the voices of those around you.
• Prioritize YOUR needs: You can spread happiness only if you are happy. And you can be happy only if you make yourself the most important person in your life. Start with yourself. Understand what your needs are and fulfil them.
• Be free to surge ahead, without letting others’ opinion imprison you: While quitting might seem like the easiest thing to do when others reject you and your opinions, have the conviction to persist and let yourself be heard. Move ahead and don’t let others’ opinions hold you back.
• Learn to say NO: Being a perpetual yes person robs you of your self-respect. Learn to refuse when you don’t want to oblige because your obligation should only be towards yourself.
• Self-assuredness comes from having complete self-belief, confidence, and being true to yourself.
• Become clear within, Jasmin Waldmann