An acquaintance of mine, an educationist, recently invited an eminent industrialist to preside over a function that was being organised by his institution.
In sharing with me later, the educationist said that he genuinely believed that he had chosen this person appropriately, for he was well regarded in his field and was immensely accomplished.
In inviting the person, he had told him that “we would be the poorer if you did not agree”. The person in question laughed and said my acquaintance was exaggerating and named someone else who he thought was better endowed.
The realisation that dawned on me as my acquaintance shared with me, was the discomfort the gentleman was experiencing in the apparent honest compliment he was being paid that resulted in him deflecting it.
What is it about us that we cannot accept genuine praise? Do we doubt the integrity of the one offering the compliment, or are we simply self-effacing?
Humility does not mean fobbing off a sincere compliment by denying it; true humility is being able to receive the gift and reciprocate it with thanks and not rejection.
Marianne Williamson, in her book A Return to Love, chastises those who cannot truly accept a compliment by saying ‘who are you to diminish yourself just so that the other feels important?’ Golda Meir, the erstwhile Prime Minister of Israel, has said it even better, when she remarked ‘do not think you are so great that you have to be humble’.
The writer is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at ttsrinath@gmail.com