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My love for Mr. Shah Rukh Khan is legendary among those who know me. I can list a thousand reasons why I am drawn to him or how he inspires me. Today at the age of 30, when cynicism creeps in and slowly takes over, he has kept the hope in me alive.

When you are in your teens and hormones are wreaking havoc, such larger than life 'loves' are quite cute and understandable. In your early twenties, this love forms the way to some crazy ambition. Even that is quite admirable. But imagine a 30-year-old, educated, averagely successful, happily married woman (with a child), going bat shit crazy over some impossible dream. I am sure that it is enough to raise some red flags. I think my family has been quite concerned about my craziness for some time now.

Imagine a 30-year-old, educated, averagely successful, happily married woman (with a child), going bat shit crazy over some impossible dream.

And, I have to admit that there have been many awkward moments in my life because of my love for him. As I learned from the man himself, the best way to overcome embarrassment is to not take yourself too seriously. So, here I am, sharing some of those awkward moments.

That awkward moment...:

1) When I was under anesthesia due to a complicated pregnancy. As the effect was wearing off, I came out if it yelling at the top of my voice, "Shah Rukh Khan, Shah Rukh Khan. Chennai Express 1,2,3,4 get on the dance floor." I was surrounded by my entire family, in-laws, and husband (who was trying really hard to be supportive and not get angry).

In my defense, the song had just been released and was playing on the radio when I was on my way to the hospital. (Here, with due respect for one and all, I will not talk about the scenario unfolding in my head as the anesthesia wore off.)

2) When the first song I taught my toddler was Jabra Fan and she refused to sing any other rhyme when asked to, making me out to be a bad mom in front of guests. (Who allows screen time for her kid... gasp)

In my defense, the song is really catchy and well, my toddler has good taste.

3) When my friends still hold one eternal favour over my head because I dragged them to the Swades shoot in Pune, made them stand outside without food and water for an entire day, just in the hope of catching a glimpse of him.

It paid off. I did catch a glimpse of him and when he blew a kiss at the gathered crowd, my daydreams for the next few months comprised of him specifically directing that kiss towards me.

4) When I blush furiously and grin like an idiot in the middle of the road on seeing a hoarding with his face on it, just because the night before I had dreamt about him. Or, again, when I grin like an idiot looking at my phone, butterflies flapping away to glory in my stomach because I see the notification of his tweet on my timeline.

When I blush furiously and grin like an idiot in the middle of the road on seeing a hoarding with his face on it, just because the night before I had dreamt about him.

Here, I have no defense apart from the fact that he is just as charming in my dreams (if not more) as in reel life. And, who can resist the spell of his wit on social media?

5) When I am daydreaming about him, about working with him, in the middle of my real work, and when somebody calls my attention I have no idea what they were saying.

There are boring presentations on one hand, and Mr. Shah Rukh Khan daydreams on the other. I think I am totally justified in this instance.

6) When my daughter shouts out his name whenever he appears on the television but refuses to recognize any other 'age appropriate' cartoon character.

As I said, my daughter has good taste. Though it does create an awkward situation trying to explain this to her teachers.

7) When the lullaby that used to make my daughter fall sleep is, Main koi aisa geet gaaoon.

You see the song does make total sense when I sing it, directing the wordings at my daughter. Problem arises when she memorises it and teaches it to other students in school. Have yet to receive a complaint about that one from other parents, but I can see it coming soon.

At 30, when it is generally assumed that one's life is in control, here I am just flailing about when I think about him. Does it mean that this is going to stop anytime soon? Not a chance.

8) When everybody around me is out of the star-struck teen-girl fan phase of their life, while I just keep getting into it deeper and deeper.

I can see the bewildered look in their eyes when I am constantly talking about him. It is a look mixed with concern, pity and some judgment. Okay, a lot of judgment.

At 30, when it is generally assumed that one's life is in control, here I am just flailing about when I think about him. Does it mean that this is going to stop anytime soon? Not a chance. My love for Mr. Khan has kept me in my teens, even if it is just in my head. And I have learned a hell of a lot from him. He has given me a dream at 30. I owe him a lot. So cheers to such love. And here is hoping for a lot more awkwardness in the coming days, because of my undying, crazy love for Mr. Shah Rukh Khan.